The Power of Solitude vs. The Weight of Isolation
For the past 15 years, maybe longer, my routine has been to spend the first hour of my day alone. I get up and get out. Like the post office, rain, sleet, hail, or snow, I’m up and out. Ideally, I find a quiet place to think, read, write, and hopefully create. Since I began writing in 2006, I’ll usually put something on paper if inspired, or I am taking the time to study the craft.
When I lived in a beach community, I often found myself by the water. In downtown LA, it was the coffee shop or the library which was one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. The important part was never the place itself, but the solitude. Some mornings I wouldn’t accomplish a thing. I might not write a single word, but I would sit quietly with my thoughts and that was enough.
The World Has Changed
When I started this practice, the iPhone was brand-new and social media wasn’t really a part of my world. Things have changed dramatically since then and not necessarily for the better. In today’s fast-paced, overly-connected world, many of us crave quiet, whether we realize it or not we need it. We need a moment to step away from the constant buzz of notifications, responsibilities, and noise.
Solitude is a healthy and intentional choice to spend time with yourself. But solitude may often be confused with isolation, and the two couldn’t be more different. While solitude can recharge us, isolation, especially as we grow older can have a negative impact.
Solitude: A Gift to the Self
Solitude is the act of being alone by choice. It’s not about cutting people off. It’s about making space for reflection, creativity, and restoration. Research shows that solitude reduces stress, sharpens focus, and boosts emotional well-being. Many writers, artists, and thinkers have relied on solitude to nurture ideas and deepen self-connection.
Finding solitude can be as simple as sitting quietly with a morning coffee, taking a walk, journaling, meditating, or engaging in a hobby without distraction. Solitude resets us. It offers clarity and peace in ways constant connection never can or will.
Isolation: The Silent Killer
Isolation, on the other hand, is rarely chosen. It happens when we feel disconnected, unseen, or cut off from meaningful relationships, whether it be family, friends, or like-minded people who inspire us. Unlike solitude, isolation breeds loneliness, sadness, and even hopelessness.
Though I still value my daily solitude, I often wrestle with isolation. Moving has made it harder. Once surrounded by creative people and dreamers, I now live in a suburban community of retired seniors content to walk the dog, mow the lawn until it’s dust, or float in the pool. A community where conversations tend to repeat, and inspiration is rare. I love and appreciate the loved ones around me, but I still crave the company of people who challenge me, inspire me, and help me grow.
As we age, our circles naturally shrink. Sometimes people move. Sometimes we outgrow them. Sometimes, sadly, we lose them. Looking back, I realize I was often the one who initiated gatherings. Without my invitations, they may never have happened. I couldn’t have been the only one needing connection, but it seems the only one needing it enough to initiate gatherings. That s#*t got old.
Now that my 100-hour workweeks are behind me, I feel isolation more deeply and I know I need to do something about it.
The Cost of Isolation
This distinction between solitude and isolation becomes critical with age. Research shows social isolation is at epidemic levels and deeply harmful to both emotional and physical health. For older adults, isolation is linked to higher risks of depression, cognitive decline, heart disease, and even a shortened lifespan. According to the National Institute on Aging, chronic loneliness can be as damaging as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Life changes often lead to isolation. Retirement, loss of loved ones, and mobility issues can all create distance from social networks and support systems.
Finding Balance
The key lies in balance. Solitude is intentional and restorative. On the other hand, prolonged isolation is harmful. So, what can we do?
- Stay socially connected. Regular calls, visits, or community activities keep relationships alive.
- Volunteer. Serving a cause not only gives purpose but also fosters new friendships.
- Be intentional about solitude. Make space for yourself but balance it with time among others.
- Join groups or activities. Book clubs, art classes, or fitness groups offer meaningful connection.
- Stay open to new relationships. It’s never too late to build friendships or strengthen old ones.
- RELOCATE to a community or create one!
As we age, it’s vital to embrace solitude for the nourishment it offers, while guarding against the dangers of isolation. Solitude feeds the soul. Isolation drains it. The difference lies in choice, connection, and balance. And again, like almost everything in life, balance is the key!
Solitude has become increasingly difficult, particularly in public spaces where people are oblivious to one’s requirements for silence and peace of mind. Speaking loudly, particularly on calls using the speaker phone feature, unruly children or yapping animals, playing obnoxious music or listening to web-based content without headphones, loud auto exhausts, etc. – all contribute to the need for escape and seclusion. Peace is often hijacked when there is a rampant disregard for allowing us to recharge our life’s batteries in a place that should represent tranquility and release. This, perhaps, is why many individuals have opted for total isolation.