When Folks You Love Won’t Take Care of Themselves
I’m going to get right to the point. It’s a new year (yes, I wrote this a five months ago and forgot to post and yes, of late, I too am guilty but dedicated to get back on track!) and it’s time for some serious ALL YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS!
This is going to be short and sweet. (Or maybe a tad bittersweet.) Watching the people you love slowly neglect themselves SUCKS.
AND not because they don’t know better, but because they refuse to do better.
- They eat poorly.
- They won’t move their bodies.
- They cling to habits they know are harming them like consuming ultra processed foods daily. (Too late in the day to claim ignorance!)
- They dismiss every warning sign and every loving suggestion. Somehow, you’re the bad guy because you care.
And the hardest part? You’re the one who will eventually be affected by those choices.
Loving someone doesn’t mean you’re immune to the consequences of their decisions. When close family members or even friends neglect their health, it doesn’t just hurt them, it places an unspoken burden on the people who love them most. The ones who will worry. The ones who will rearrange their lives. The ones who will become caregivers, advocates, chauffeurs, and emotional anchors.
Although I feel bad saying this, it is not selfish to acknowledge that reality.
What is unfair is choosing not to care for yourself while expecting the people who love you to carry the weight later. Neglecting your health doesn’t happen in isolation; it transfers the cost to someone else. Time. Energy. Finances. Emotional bandwidth. Freedom.
And yet, when you speak up and you encourage better choices, healthier habits, or small changes, you’re often painted as the bad guy. The nag. The overreactor. The one who “doesn’t understand.” Oh, I understand. I understand that your neglect will eventually cost me.
But encouraging someone to take care of themselves is not criticism. It’s love in action.
It’s saying, I want you here longer.
It’s saying, I don’t want to watch you suffer.
It’s saying, I don’t want resentment to replace the love I feel for you.
Self-care isn’t just about you. It’s about the people who will be impacted if you don’t show up for yourself. It’s about respecting the love others have for you enough not to leave them holding the pieces later.
Taking care of yourself is one of the most unselfish things you can do.
Because it says to the people who love you:
I value my life! I value you!
And that may be the most powerful act of love there is.
Just some unprocessed food for thought!
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