LADIES! WELCOME TO MBIC!
Thank you for stopping by. I hope you decide to stay and hang out with me for a while! Although my blog refers to my black cracking, this blog is for every aging woman. (aka All of you!) I just wanted to get your attention! Black, white, red, yellow, Trump colored, beige, brown…….this blog is for EVERY WOMAN! (Cue Chaka Khan “I’m every woman,” although Whitney Houston’s version is pretty close!)
When you are young, you give little thought to the concept of “time.” On Monday, you look forward to the next weekend. There is always something you “cannot wait for.” Always something “you are looking forward to.” (fill in the blank!)
But, as your birthdays start to feel like a quarterly or semiannual event, you realize, “you can wait!” All that looking forward to, for all those years and suddenly you find yourself looking back more than you’re looking ahead. You find yourself reflecting on memories and the good times, “back when I could.” (Again, fill in the blank!)
Later is older and very few beyond the age of 22, are looking forward to being older or aging. I highly doubt anyone is running around saying “I cannot wait until I turn 40, or 50, or 60!” I cannot wait until my eggs dry up, and private summers, and for my face to slowly slide down my neck. The neck that now looks like it belongs to a turkey! No one.
The less time you have, the more time you spend keeping track of it. Perhaps it is like being a wealthy individual that suddenly loses their source of income or your business goes under and your investments are crashing. You would probably stop spending freely and start counting your pennies. There was always plenty. Suddenly you are paying more attention to your bank balance.
You might start budgeting. You want to make what you have left last as long as possible. Well, while we are not all financially wealthy, we do all possess a valuable commodity, and that my friends, is time. Time is a commodity that you cannot buy or replace.
Sure, wealth can free up your time allowing you the freedom to enjoy it more, but it is not adding any days, months or years to the calendar. And unfortunately, with time, unlike the bank statement, you never really know what your balance is! No, I’m afraid that no matter what your bank account balance is your time balance is dropping by the minute. You are getting old just like the rest of us.
You may be able to hide it with expensive procedures. You might enjoy a better quality of life because you can afford the best healthcare, the best food, and most vacations, but your ass is still getting old. Sure, you may have pulled your eyelids, cheeks, and forehead back to its original location on your skull, but you’re still aging, so pull on my friend!
And do not get me wrong. I’m not judging. I once said “I would never.” Well, I’m not so sure about that now. You should do whatever makes you feel better. (within reason, but that’s all relative) Age discrimination is real! And in some professions, more of issue than others. And that’s not okay, but it is real.
So, what do you do with your most valuable commodity and your unknown balance? Sulk? Envy the young? Cry? Mourn the loss of your youth?
Nothing, I mean NOTHING can prepare you for the day you look in the mirror and see some other face staring back at you. Someone whose face is falling and whose neck is sagging. You see someone who has hair missing or hair where you would rather not have hair! Where the hell did my eyebrows go? The upside is without your glasses, you may not even notice. But, boy, when you do! It is not an easy day.
I remember that first glimpse of a dimply thigh in sunlight where you can actually see without your glasses on. Damn you Sun! You thought you could still rock those shorter shorts! Or the first site of your abdomen slipping out from under your bathing suit or your chest with all the fine lines and wrinkles looking like a map to nowhere. Let us not forget the pug dog head you developed squinting while in denial that you needed glasses. Go get them!
What about the first time you walk into a room and no one has noticed. The catcalling you always hated would be a welcome occurrence. Instead, there is silence. And when did I go from Miss to Ma’am?
Aging can be difficult no matter how much time you spend grateful and blessed to still be alive. Okay, the only escape is death and don’t misunderstand, this shit isn’t bothering me like that!
That being said, it doesn’t make it easy, especially as a woman. I know I’m not alone. And don’t get me started on those three stages of menopause. Did we need three?
Nothing like your scrambled eggs and dying/drying vagina to let you know you’re officially older.
Photo by Jonatan Pie on Unsplash
I don’t know about anyone else, but I actually mourned the loss of my period. It was official. I could no longer bring life into the world. (Not that I wanted to bring anything in the world in its current state) It was that I couldn’t. The option no longer existed and who doesn’t prefer options.
It wasn’t like the freedom that comes with the fear of not getting pregnant was a cause for celebration! You still have to practice safe sex!
Truth is, I felt like less of a woman even though for the most part, I didn’t look old enough to be missing a period. Like most, I have since embraced the idea, but it took a while. Sadly, my tampon/pad fund was redirected to my wine fund. This is where many women turn for comfort.
I used to judge an older woman’s recycling bin, but suddenly mine had more empty bottles in it than I cared to admit. Never a woman who overindulged and on the occasion I did, it was a special occasion. All of the sudden Tuesday became special enough.
Photo by Mauro Lima on Unsplash
I always had an empty wine rack unless I was entertaining. I still had an empty wine rack, but I had a pretty full recycling bin! I was not coping with the process. I went through a depressed period and we all know how well alcohol works for depression! NOT!
AND, why would you enjoy wine without French bread and brie? Or M&M’s or Haagen Daaz, or Oreos, or just about anything else to soothe your aging soul?
I sat around, drinking wine, reminiscing and repeating stories from the past. Meanwhile, 20-30lbs later (fill in the blank) I felt really great. NOT!
It was time for a self-intervention. I had to check myself before I wrecked myself! Unbeknownst to me, I had been hijacked by hormones, but I was a willing hostage for years.
I decided I needed to deal with this shit. I needed to understand why I felt the way I did and why I feel the way I do. I needed to address these feelings. I needed to educate myself. I needed to do whatever was necessary to look and feel my best at whatever age I am. Confidence is sexy. And speaking of sex….or lack thereof. Damn hormones!
The first step was to understand why I felt bad in the first place. So I have started the process by attempting to learn as much as I can about the aging process for women.
I need to be honest with myself and examine my feelings and then take steps to look and feel my best; to give myself the best possible chance to live as these young people say, “my best life!”
The purpose of this blog:
To share experiences
To share information and discoveries
To encourage open and honest conversations about aging.
The purpose of this blog is NOT to merely be a collection of ads, but an opportunity to provide enriching information on living optimally and aging with confidence, style and grace.
Women in their 40’s – 60’s make up one of the largest demographics in this country. It was projected that by 2020, there would be 60 million post-menopausal women in the US alone! Women are living longer. Mid 40’s is actually really middle age!
Ladies, there is strength in numbers. We need to band together and change the way the world views the aging woman starting with changing the way we see ourselves. I want to see us on magazine covers targeting us! Not some 13 year old in heavy makeup airbrushed to perfection. I want to see us in movies. I want to see us on TV. We are not invisible and society and the media need to stop ignoring us. Those things alone would make it easier for us! And advertisers…….Hello! Huge market. Many with disposable income and free time! Wake up corporate America!
My mission is to improve the lives of all women, as well as the partners, spouses and families that love them.
I will do this in what I hope will be an informative yet entertaining “edu-taining” way. Expect content that will include:
- Expert interviews
- Publishing research
- Book reviews
- Testing and reviewing Anti-aging products and gadgets
- Service reviews and recommendations
- Discussions on the topics of Health, Fitness, Diet, Beauty & Style
- Conversations with women who I hope will share their own stories, experiences and knowledge
- Motivation and inspiration
- Healthy cooking advice including Meatless Meal ideas and Meatless Monday recipes
And stay tuned for The Wine over Whine Podcast where my daughter and I (whine)….I mean talk about all things aging, interview experts, test products and all-natural DIY wellness and beauty remedies, but mostly taste wine. Sometimes we even share with the guests.
