Recently, I found myself on the phone with a friend reminiscing about the fun times we used to have. Whether it was out watching a good football game at a sports bar, chomping on wings, and talking smack, or at one of the parties he and his partner used to throw, it was fun. Laughing, Music. Dancing. After we hung up, I thought to myself, “Lady! You are not having enough fun!”
And I’m not saying there’s no joy. I love writing, but I wouldn’t call it fun. Well, sometimes it’s fun. When I’m working on a comedy script, I do find myself laughing while I’m writing, but it’s still work. It just happens to be work that I enjoy. It’s challenging. I’m sitting there attempting to write something others will connect with and find funny. I enjoy the challenge, but I still wouldn’t call it fun!
Fun is obviously different for everyone. For some skiing is fun. I just see cold and potentially broken bones. For others it could be a game of spades, or chess accompanied by a tremendous amount of shit talking. Whatever fun is for you, it offers both great physical and psychological benefits. Fun is not just for kids! (And Trix shouldn’t be for anyone! Remember that commercial? And the sugary cereal that dyed the milk?)
And speaking of kids! That’s what wrong with them! Remember these words? “Go outside and play!” That wasn’t a suggestion. That was an order. Take yo ass outside and have fun! And we did. Jax. Hopscotch. Jump rope. Tag. Taking off on our bikes and riding for hours until the street lights came on! (Can you say childhood obesity epidemic? Just saying!) For us, the ultimate water balloon fights (East meets West. Which was like a six-block radius!) until we got fussed at for wasting all that water. Having fun is part of having a balanced life.
Yes, I know that as adults we all have jobs and personal responsibilities. There will always be a never-ending to-do list. Unfortunately, that is the downside of being that adult we couldn’t wait to become! That said, while you have that list out, you need to add “having fun” to the list.
Having fun is a vital part of our well-being. And laughter truly is the best medicine. I have a rule. No matter what I am watching on TV at night, I ALWAYS end the night watching something funny. Especially if it was a stressful day, which more often than not, it was!
Okay, so, what happens? Why do we look up and all the sudden, we are not having fun? Do we feel guilty about not being productive? Do we start to believe that we are too old to have fun? You know, it has been said, “You don’t quit having fun because you get old. You get old when you quit having fun!” I believe this to be true! (Of course, I forgot who said it, but I know it was a quote I’m too lazy to look up.)
I mean, what goes wrong? Do we become self-conscious? Worried about how silly we might look? Remember being a kid and not giving AF? When you were walking Barbie and Ken around faking their conversations, arguments as well as their ability to walk! You could care less how crazy you looked! Now I’m not saying dig out Barbie or your green army men collection (although if you do still have them, you might want to dig them out since they’re worth a shit-ton of money!) I mean unless you think playing with Barbie would bring you joy! No judgement! But there are some serious benefits to getting in touch with and reclaiming a bit of that inner child. Designating some “play” time.
STRESS RELIEF
Growing evidence suggests there are numerous health benefits to fun. Number one! Stress relief! (Unless, the Barbie police show up to repossess the Barbiemobile because Ken forgot to make the payment!)
Not only is fun stress relieving; fun helps to relieve boredom, loneliness, and pain.
When you are having fun, the feel-good neurotransmitters are released. (Dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin.) Not only does this relax you, it lowers your heart rate and your blood pressure. And since there are a whole host of issues related to high blood pressure, having more fun can help you to avoid them!
IMAGINATION
When you’re having fun, you aren’t worrying about your problems! Play stimulates your imagination and can help with solving problems.
BRAIN FUNCTION AND MEMORY
Playing games like chess, or even puzzles, help improve brain function by challenging your brain. If you are playing games with others, you have the added benefit of social interaction, which is helpful with warding off depression.
ENERGY
Fun and games can improve vitality and increase energy.
LEARNING
Think about the way children learn. Songs. Games. You can learn new things more easily when you are in a playful and more relaxed mood. Want to learn something new? Make it fun! Want to learn Spanish. Find a group of girlfriends that want to learn too and make it a party! Mix up a batch of margaritas or mojitos while you butcher the Spanish language!
INTIMACY
Keep your relationship fresh and exciting with play! Families (or however you label it) that play together, stay together. Having fun and playing together fosters resilience and intimacy. Humor and fun can help to improve not only your love relationships, but friendships and work relationships as well.
Look! Allowing your inner child to show up and show out on the regular, can keep you happy, healthy, and youthful!
So, are you like me? Do you need to have more fun? Here are some ideas to get you started.
You don’t need a group or a partner to just do something fun, silly or spontaneous. It could be something as simple as wearing something fun. I happen to like graphic t-shirts with hilarious, but sarcastic messages. Like this one…“YOU SEE MY FACE AND YET YOU’RE STILL TALKING!”
Get one of those talking birds and teach it to say “shit.” That’s pretty much all it would learn hanging around me.
Interested in a group thing? (Not that kind!)
Try hosting a game night? (masks, vax, whatever you need to feel safe!)
A night out. Bowling? Dare I say go embarrass yourself with Karaoke. (Or get a home machine!)
My friend Barb took an improv class and loved it! (You can even find this online!)
Plan a regular group physical activity. Beach walk. City walk.
Go to a comedy club. (You don’t need a group for this!)
Surround yourself with kids. (Post covid on this one!) They can be truly hilarious.
Lastly, I leave you with this. These are the lyrics (And I’m sure copyright infringement) to the song a young Michael Jackson sings the hell out of. (Tell Alexa to find it!) Not only are they lyrics; they’re pretty good advice!
With a child’s heart
Go face the worries of the day
With a child’s heart
Turn each problem into play
No need to worry no need to fear
Just being alive makes it all so very clear
With a child’s heart
Nothing can ever get you down
With a child’s heart
You’ve got no reason to frown
Love is as welcome
As a sunny sunny day
No grown-up thoughts
To lead our hearts astray
Take life easy, so easy nice and easy
Like a child so peaceful and so carefree
The whole world smiles with you
As you go your merry way
Oh with a child’s heart
Nothing’s gonna get me down