My Black is NOT Cracking.

A few weeks ago, while scrolling Netflix options I came across Chris Rock’s documentary “Good Hair.” I decided to check it out.  It was not only entertaining, it was also very enlightening. 

Having a hairstylist daughter, I have always asked a lot of questions as I watched women in the salon get 20 inch hair weaved into their scalps, (At a lighting pace by @styledbytrisha I might add!)  I always wondered why?

Of course, the generation before me, my Mom’s generation, was famous for their wigs.  I never understood that either.  I can’t stand having a hat on, so I’m pretty sure a wig would drive me insane!  I was just as puzzled by the women weaving all this hair into their heads.  My thought were that you would want it to at least “look like it could be yours!”  I’ve since concluded that most are not too concerned if it looks real or not. And this is by no means judging and I’m totally aware that women of all races get extensions, weaves and wear wigs.

She explained to me that women’s weaves were like accessories.  I thought to myself, I take my accessories off when I get home! Of course, another friend of mine  (also former hair stylist) confided in me that her hair came off nightly, hung in the closet, and was ironed and reattached daily!  Well, shut my mouth!

My Daughter has told me on numerous occasions, that women want long hair and many of them cannot grow hair.  I have to admit, I had a hard time believing that, but she further explained.  She told me she had taken excellent care of client’s hair and it would grow, but at a certain point, would start to break off.  She assured me that they were taking good care of the hair, and yet, at a point it either stopped growing or broke off.

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I would regularly grow my hair long only to get bored and chop it all off. Other women in the salon while I was getting it all cut off, would observe in amazement.  (Like I was nuts!) She said I was fortunate that I could grow long hair.  That was not the case for everyone.  It wasn’t just a matter of taking care of your hair.

When I moved to LA, I ran up on a hairstylist’s whose ass at one point, I would have loved to whup!  She destroyed my hair!  I had been a salon girl for years.  I hadn’t done my own hair in probably 20 years at the time.  (probably longer)  When it got too long, it was too much for me. When I cut it short, I discovered it was impossible to maintain my short hair myself.  I learned, short hair required way more effort.  There was no lazy day of “just pulling it back!”  And, it was harder to maintain if you work out! (Which we all need to be doing!  Yet one more dilemma for women of color who sadly and too often, choose hair maintenance over health maintenance.) But I loved the way I looked with short hair, so I went back and forth. 

In any event, this stylist decided I needed a mild relaxer and proceeded to burn my hair out of my head.  It became brittle and just started coming out.  I remember being extremely upset over the loss of my hair. I returned home to my Philly stylist (Before my daughter started doing my hair I had a long time stylist.) who informed me, “your hair is dead and we should just cut what’s left off and start over.”  Pissed, but unafraid of short hair, that’s what I did.  Unfortunately, I was at a place where I didn’t really want to try any new LA hairstylist, so I was forced to take matters into my own hands when I returned.

I rarely if ever stumbled on any women with fly short cuts, just long flowing weaves.  Not exactly the referral you want when you need a cut!  So, I started doing my own hair and learned to take care of it myself!  I was a short cut in a sea of weaves. 

In any event, back to Good Hair, my daughter’s comments and the questions it raised for me. 

Seeing these women in that doc that could possibly have traded rent for hair and learning the extreme amounts of money women pay for long hair, I wondered, Why?

Why are we so obsessed with long hair?  I know, people say, you always want what you think you can’t have or that someone that has and can grow long hair, shouldn’t ask that question.  But I’m still asking.  I get the braid thing.  That’s part of our heritage as black women. But is the long flowing hair a need to conform to society’s standards of beauty? Or to what we might believe to be a black man’s standard of beauty. (or white if that’s your flavor. NWOC subscribers, I’m talking to women of color on this one.) Actually, I experienced that first hand! And that’s not to say, all brothers want weaved up or straight haired women.  Not making any generalizations here.

I was seeing someone that was used to me having my hair flat ironed.  It was long and straight.  I decided to go natural and let go of heat for a while, or forever.  I quickly found out, natural doesn’t exactly mean easy and maintenance-free!  On the contrary, it was more labor intensive.  I was used to going to the salon and other than wrapping, not doing much else in between visits.  This twisting and tying and multiple product mess was work!

Anyway, his response was, “Did you get a role in the Lion King and forget to tell me!”  He referred to my hair as “that mess on your head.”  I liked it.  He hated it.  For him, if it was in its natural state, it wasn’t “done.” His idea of nice hair was processed, straight, as close to a white woman’s as possible!  And based on the women before and after me, that’s a fact! So, perhaps this is one of the few reasons that when we can’t grow, we weave.  (Brothers like him!)  I do have to admit, he gave awesome head massages and I cannot imagine never having a man (or woman whatever you’re into!) be able to rub my head!  When I was stressed, that would knock me out in ten minutes!  Ladies, don’t cheat yourselves out of those head rubs!” 

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Okay, back to weaves and long hair!  I hear the catchphrase “protective styles,” but then I talk to women and to my daughter and they keep their hair in protective style. (braided, weaved  etc) They never really wear their hair out.  So, what exactly, are we protecting it from?  It’s under there.  It’s healthy.  But we never see it?  I just don’t get that.  Sure, for while you are transitioning.  Totally get that.  But I know many women who just NEVER wear their own hair out. It really is a fascinating topic. I mean, Netflix paid for it!

In any event, I got into another conversation about why some women can and cannot grow hair. (or at least believe that to be true.)  And I thought about my daughter telling me about how well she’s taken care of client’s hair, but they still can never achieve or maintain length. 

My thoughts, and of course, I’m not expert, is that everything is connected. You might take care of the actual hair, but you have to take care of the body as well.  Perhaps the body isn’t getting the vitamins and nutrients it needs?  Perhaps it’s a lack of scalp care.  Perhaps it’s the environment?  Weather?  I truly believe if your entire body is healthy and growing strong, your hair might do so as well.  That said, I’m not ignorant to role of genetics. We were not all created to be the same or look the same. Everyone is different.

But I was particularly curious about the weave hair.  It seemed to me that Indian hair was the most popular.  So, I thought, these Indian women grow this long hair, chop it off and grow it right back!  How is it that they can grow hair like this?  What exactly are they doing to grow and maintain their own hair that we so specifically covet? Again, Im sure there are many factors, but I was curious.

So, I asked an Indian woman to write a tell-all post about how she and other Indian women grow their hair.  When I first asked, her only response was two words.  “Coconut oil.”  But surely there had to be more to it than that!  I share with you now, what she shared with me in the guest post below.

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How Indian Women Can Grow Such Beautiful Long Hair

Emphasis on Prevention

Natural hair extensions from India are popular for their length, softness, and wavy texture. In fact, Indian women tend to maintain their hair remarkably well. So, what do women in India know about hair care that we don’t? We all know that genetics, climate, and many other factors play a role in hair texture and growth. But are there also some cultural influences that help Indian women grow and maintain such lustrous locks?

There is one major difference between how American and Indian women treat their hair, and it has something to do with attitude. Beauty, as a concept, is not very different from health in this respect. Indians believe in preserving the health of the healthy rather than healing the damaged. While in the west, we turn to deep conditioning treatments only when we start facing hair problems, Indian women follow a preventive hair care routine. They have a simple but consistent hair care regimen that they follow on a daily and weekly basis – just as we do for our skin.

In fact, hair is treated as an extension of the skin and is cared for just as you would for your face. Moisturizing is a daily routine, not an occasional practice. Even this daily pampering is followed by a deep conditioning treatment at the end of the week. And this routine is for normal times; in case of hair problems, more intense treatments like hair packs or herbal treatments can follow.

So, don’t wait until your hair is damaged enough to demand your attention. Rather, keep them protected from any kind of damage by following some simple practices, regular oiling, and dietary changes.

Oiling Rituals

Oiling the hair and scalp with cold-pressed natural oils – daily and weekly – is a common practice for most Indian women. Dry hair is more prone to breakage and environmental damage than well-moisturized hair. Oil helps in locking the moisture and prevents dryness, thus preventing frizz, split ends, and wear and tear. Though oiling your hair strands does not promote hair growth, it helps in maintaining long hair. Massaging your scalp with oils can, however, boost blood flow and stimulate hair growth. Here’s how to oil your hair properly and on a daily basis, without having to weigh down your hair.

Daily Moisturizing

Choose an oil that is nourishing, light, and also penetrates well. Coconut oil is truly wondrous for hair but if it doesn’t work for you, go for lighter oils like jojoba or argan oil. Shea butter and mango butter also work well with some hair types. Take a very small amount of oil on your palm and rub it on your hair tips. On day one, start from tips, covering only a small portion of hair. Moisturize daily for a week, slowly moving towards the roots and covering a larger portion of hair. Do not touch your scalp unless you want greasy hair. Also, adjust the amount of oil, depending on how porous your hair is.

Lock Moisture before you wash

Another major difference seen in the Indian hair care routine is: they seldom wash their hair without oiling them first. But shampoo is meant for cleansing the hair of oil and dirt, right? Then, what’s the point of lathering yourself with oil if you are only going to wash it after a few hours?

Because oil serves two purposes here: first, it conditions the scalp, nourishing it with essential fats and nutrients; and secondly, it helps in locking the moisture and protecting the strands against harsh chemicals. Besides, this technique also eliminates the need for conditioners because oils can make your hair so smooth that you simply don’t need a conditioner – hence fewer toxic chemicals for your locks!

Here we see another example of preventive attitude. It only makes sense to protect your strands before exposing them to chemicals, rather than to compensate with a conditioner after you have stripped them of natural oils (with shampoo).

Healthy Food Habits

Nutrition is unarguably the most important factor for maintaining healthy hair growth. While a balanced diet with a variety of micronutrients is great for overall health, our hair benefits from some nutrients more than it does from others, such as vitamin C, iron, and anti-inflammatory foods and spices. Indian diet is full of such ingredients that naturally promote hair growth. Their meals are prepared using lots of spices and herbs like turmeric, cinnamon, fenugreek, peppers, curry leaves, coriander, and saffron that nourish the hair with loads of micronutrients and antioxidants. Spices are also known to lower inflammation in the body and support blood detoxification. This helps in delivering more nutrients to the skin and scalp and thus naturally promotes healthy skin and hair.

Fenugreek

Fenugreek seeds are commonly used spice in Indian cuisine. Studies have shown this nutrient-dense food to be packed with a plethora of health and beauty benefits. It has a long history of use in traditional medicine and has been proven to help in obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, hormonal imbalances, gynecological problems, and digestive disorders. Apart from this, fenugreek is also commonly used in shampoos, hair packs, and hair oils to promote healthy hair growth.

Fenugreek is a storehouse of micronutrients. It is a rich source of folic acid, vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin K, potassium, calcium, and iron. Its high protein and nicotinic acid content further help in nourishing the hair and protects against inflammatory scalp conditions. Fenugreek is particularly useful for dry hair and scalp problems that arise from lack of proper nourishment, such as flakiness, dandruff, split ends, hair thinning, etc.

Amla

Amla, or Indian gooseberry, is an essential part of Indian hair care rituals. This ayurvedic herb, which is also taken as a health supplement for enhancing immunity, is considered a superfood for hair. Everything (literally!) that your hair needs is packed in this extremely sour and bitter fruit that is about less than 2 inches in size. Amla is one of the world’s richest sources of vitamin C (about 20 times more than oranges) and is an incredibly rich source of iron. Vitamin C is used by the body to make proteins that are part of the hair structure. Its astringent property also helps in removing scalp buildup and protects hair strands against environmental damage.

Making amla a part of your diet also comes with many benefits for the body and mind. It is a powerful adaptogenic herb that helps your body adapt to physical, psychological, and environmental stress. Amla has been clinically proven to enhance immunity, lower inflammation, improve digestion, reduce blood sugar levels, and prevent the risk of neurological disorders. Amla is also a longevity herb (Rasayana) that supports detoxification and rejuvenation of tissues.

Cinnamon

Popularly known for its intensely sweet and thick aroma, cinnamon is one of the several aromatic spices that are characteristic of Indian meals. Apart from being an excellent source of antioxidants, cinnamon has also been used for stimulating hair growth since time immemorial. Its active compound, cinnamaldehyde, can boost blood circulation, which increases the flow of nutrients to the scalp (and skin). Its antioxidant, antibacterial, antifungal, anti-inflammatory compounds promote healthy scalp conditions, thus helping with dandruff, itchiness, and inflamed skin. If you do not like cinnamon with your food, you can try its essential oil, which works just as well. In one study, topical application of cinnamon essential oil increased both hair length and diameter while also helping with thinning hair.

I might not get the whole weave thing.  I don’t have to! Do you! We should do whatever makes us feel beautiful and confident. I tried it just for low maintenance vacation hair twice. (It was NOT LOW MAINTENANCE! Low maintenance for me was a bobby pin and a silk scarf or just a silk pillowcase!)  Let me tell you, I should have learned my lesson the first time.  My daughter was joining me a day or so after I left and not too soon! Thank God she got past security with those scissors in her carryon!  I was waiting!!!!  I made her cut it out both times upon arrival!  I just couldn’t take it. 

But for those that believe that the only way they can have long hair is to wear some Indian woman’s locks, perhaps there are things you can do to change that! Who knows? Some small changes might deliver big results. It is a complex subject. And a billion dollar industry for a reason! We don’t play about our hair. And hey, it’s how my kid makes her living, so weave away! No judgement here. If it makes life easier, than it’s a good thing! If it makes it so we can exercise! Even better! As always, I am simply hoping I can offer some healthy options.