I’ve been thinking. Could finding joy and love be the real key to longevity?
When I say love, I don’t necessarily mean finding the love of your life. You can love anything. A career. A hobby. A cause. Your grandchildren. Painting. Gardening. Music. Writing. (Reading Kay’s posts!) Dancing. Volunteering. Learning. Whatever makes you lose track of time.
I recently watched a documentary called “If You’re Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast.” The title alone made me laugh. It featured Carl Reiner, Tony Bennett, Mel Brooks, Dick Van Dyke, Norman Lear, Betty White, and a remarkable group of people who were in their nineties and still living full, vibrant lives.
Not just existing.
Living.
I remember watching Tony Bennett perform with Lady Gaga at the Academy Awards years ago. Blew me away. He was old! But NOT old at the same time.
As I watched the documentary, I noticed something all these people had in common.
None of them seemed to retire from life.
They kept creating.
They kept laughing.
They kept working.
They kept making plans.
They kept surrounding themselves with people they loved.
Carl Reiner wrote six books after turning ninety. Think about that. Most of us are wondering if we’re too old to start something new in our sixties, while Carl was beginning entirely new creative projects in his nineties.
Why?
Because he loved what he did.
The documentary wasn’t really about living to ninety or one hundred. It was about having something that made you want to wake up in the morning. It was about staying engaged with life.
One of the themes that kept coming up was the importance of human connection. These lifelong friendships weren’t casual acquaintances. They laughed together. They supported one another. They had decades of shared memories. They genuinely enjoyed being together.
Joy seems to grow when it’s shared.
Then there was Ida Keeling. Her story stopped me in my tracks.
She had endured unimaginable heartbreak. I could totally relate to that! She lost her husband to a heart attack, and then, within two years, she lost both of her sons to gun violence. She fell into a deep depression.
Her daughter encouraged her to start running. She was sixty-seven years old at the time!
Most people would have said she had missed her chance. Instead, she ran her first 5K.
In fact, she kept running for decades and lived to be 106 years old, while holding world records.
Her story wasn’t just about exercise.
It was about rediscovering purpose and joy. Rediscovering a reason to keep moving forward.
One quote from the documentary has stayed with me:
“You can stack the deck to a better life at any age.”
I love that because it doesn’t promise perfection. It promises possibility.
Carl Reiner also said something that struck me:
“We told the truth about ourselves, and everybody is similar. If you write about who you are, you’re not that different than anybody else.”
What a beautiful way to describe connection and a rule that I try to follow with my writing.
Our stories may be different, but our humanity is the same.
Dick Van Dyke offered another simple philosophy:
Never act your age.
I laughed when I heard that because in 2022, I wrote a monologue for my Hormones & Happy Hour show called “Never Act Your Age.”
Maybe that’s really another way of saying…
Never stop being curious. Never stop playing. Never stop finding reasons to smile.
Norman Lear spoke about living in the present, describing it as lying in a hammock suspended between “over” and “next.”
What an image.
Not living in the past.
Not worrying about what’s coming next.
Simply appreciating this moment. This really spoke to me because it is something I struggle with. My mind is always on the next thing. I’m already on what I have to do tomorrow. My never-ending to-do list. Something I should have done last week, or ten years ago!
One of my favorite lines from the documentary was:
“Just being alive is a glory.”
That isn’t the outlook of someone merely trying to add years to their life. It’s the outlook of someone determined to add life to their years.
Watching all of these extraordinary people made me wonder if we’ve made longevity much more complicated than it needs to be.
Yes, nutrition, exercise, and sleep matter.
But maybe they all work a little better when we have something we’re excited to wake up for.
Something we love.
Someone we love.
Something that gives us purpose.
Something that makes us laugh.
Maybe joy isn’t just a nice feeling. Maybe it’s medicine.
Some days, finding joy is easy. Other days, it’s work.
Grief, disappointment, loneliness, and loss can hide it so well that you wonder if it’s disappeared forever.
Keep looking.
It may be hiding in plain sight.
Just try to love every day.
Someone.
Something.
A project.
A dream.
A friend.
A grandchild.
A sunrise.
A song.
A really good cup of coffee, a delicious meal or a great glass of wine.
Whatever reminds you that you’re still alive!
Maybe that’s the real key to longevity.