The Art of Being Found & The Gift of Being Present
I can admit that I suck at this. I’m either dwelling on the past or stressing about the future and I seriously need to work on that! I’m either replaying the past like a movie I can’t stop watching or stressing about a future I can’t control. My mind just clings to the past or races ahead to the future, filling my days with regrets over things I can’t change and anxieties that may never come to pass. Yet, in rare moments, life reminds me what it feels like to return to the now.
When I first began painting, I would retreat to my loft in the Arts District of LA and let the hours dissolve around me. Brush in hand, it felt like I would enter a world where time no longer existed. Hours would zoom by. The same thing happens when I write. I used to say I was “lost” when I created, but I realize now that perhaps I was not lost at all. Perhaps I was finally found. Was my purpose to create?
These moments of immersion are invitations into presence. They are reminders that being alive is not measured by the minutes we track on a clock, but by the depth of our attention. When we give ourselves fully to what is in front of us, whether it is paints and canvas, words and paper, or the sound of a loved one’s voice, the past loosens its grip on our minds and the future waits patiently. The present blossoms right in front of our eyes.
The more we draw ourselves into this present space, the more we honor the gift and the miracle of our own existence. Presence is not just a gift we give ourselves, but also a gift we offer others. When we are truly with someone, we offer them our undivided aliveness. And in return, they mirror it back to us. Presence is a quiet exchange and a circle of being fully seen and fully seeing.
Of course, presence is not easy. It slips away the moment we grasp at it. Yet the fact is, we can always return. With each breath, with each brushstroke, with each moment of awareness, we can choose to come back to the present.
It hasn’t been easy for me. I have been this way my entire life. I am guessing my childhood has a little to do with that. I had plenty of reasons to be anxious. But I haven’t been a child for a long ass time, so it’s time to deal with that! Time to stop robbing myself of the present. I often must remind myself tomorrow is not promised to any of us and ask myself, “Why are you obsessing over it?” I can’t change yesterday, so why obsess over that? The only time we truly are, is now.
Being fully present sounds simple. It AIN’T! Trying to just focus on the moment you’re in might require some practice. I personally find it very difficult. My mind is constantly pulled in different directions. Again, I’m either replaying the past, worrying about the future, or just getting lost in distractions.
Technology, endless to-do lists, and constant notifications make it easy to live in a state of partial attention. I am not really on facebook like that, but I recently turned off notifications! All day, texts from every connection turned into digital noise for me. I became aware of the endless scrolling trap that is Instagram. While sometimes I needed that laugh or wanted to try that recipe, it is easy to get sucked in and lose track of time. But is this really how I want to spend my now? Do I want to spend my time reading about everyone else’s life? (And by the way, when you are with someone, but cannot put your phone down, it sends a message that the person in front of you means less than whatever you are watching, reading, or texting. How often is it urgent? Because if it is not urgent, it’s pretty much rude! Just saying!)
And I must admit, sometimes being in the present moment is uncomfortable. I’m forced to face emotions and thoughts I would prefer to avoid. And I’ve been moving so fast for so long, slowing down now feels unnatural. For most of my life, I wore many hats, had multiple jobs and often an overwhelming list of responsibilities. I now feel guilty when I look around seeing things that need to be done while I do nothing. (Which is rare!) I have to work to just “BE.” And sometimes we all just need to “BE!”
Presence isn’t something we master overnight. It’s like a muscle that needs daily strengthening, whether through mindfulness, meditation, breathing, or simply pausing to notice where you are.
BUT there are actual physical and mental health benefits (AND ANTI-AGING BENEFITS) to learning to be fully present.
The Benefits of Being Fully Present
- Deeper Connections: When you’re present, you listen with your whole self. People feel heard, valued, and seen. Your relationships become more authentic and meaningful. (I definitely need to work on this one! My mind races during conversations which makes me suck as a listener!)
- Less Stress and Anxiety: Worry often lives in the future, regret in the past. Presence allows you to release that weight, quiet your mind, and reduce the mental clutter that fuels stress. (We call all use less stress! Much of it for me is self-inflicted.)
- Increased Joy in Small Moments: When you’re fully present, ordinary experiences feel richer and more satisfying. It can be as simple as a cup of coffee, a walk outside, or a conversation with a friend. (Although I struggle to find ANYONE that can or wants to walk! Yup. I’m talking about you.)
- Better Focus and Productivity: Instead of scattering your energy across endless thoughts, you channel it into the task in front of you, which often makes your work more efficient and creative. (I’m the queen of this! As a result, I am starting multiple projects and completing very few!)
- Greater Self-Awareness: Being present helps you notice your thoughts and emotions without judgment, making it easier to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
When we focus on the present moment, we honor the gift that is our lives. We no longer miss what’s right in front of us right now. In the end, being fully present is both a gift and a discipline. It asks for patience, self-compassion, and repeated practice. The beauty is that even when you fail and your mind wanders, you can always begin again. And each time you return to the present moment, you reclaim a little more of your life.
https://www.istockphoto.com/portfolio/umerdeartist?mediatype=illustration
https://www.istockphoto.com/portfolio/HowLettery?mediatype=illustration
Great and present article!
Thanks for your comment and for taking the time to read my rants.
Thank you for giving this topic the attention it deserves. I trust you’re getting as much benefit writing this blog as we do reading and responding to it. What I’ve found that works for me as a senior nomad on a global journey is breath and movement. Combined, it’s in the form of lap swimming. Swimming gives me physical vitality, mental clarity, and a spiritual lift. “BE-ing” in water makes me feel as if I’m “floating above it all,” observing, not judging. Most of the time pools are available no matter where I am in the world.
I also find that breath and movement separate can be helpful if there are no pools to help ground me. Practicing breathwork during morning meditation gives my mind a clean slate to take in thoughts without judgment and dismiss them as just thoughts. If I revert back to it throughout the day, I find that I stay at peace. In the afternoons, I go on long walks to explore my new surroundings. I then feel my blood coursing through my veins and dormant muscles activating. Long walks help let me know that I’m very much present in the moment and alive.
Over the past two years as a solo traveler presence is truly a special gift. As one can imagine staying 3-6 months in unfamiliar countries with different languages, customs, and cultures comes with its share of stress and anxiety. I also at the time decided to start buying one-way flights and get Airbnb apartments “just-in-time” to give more flexibility in deciding when and where to go. Achieving balance with this spontaneity, fearlessly without letting it overwhelm me with anxiety, is an ongoing challenge. Breathwork and movement helps anchor me when uncertainties and thoughts creep in such as the possibility of not having a roof over my head or a way forward. 🙏🏾
Wow. Thank you sooooo much for this. I am in absolute awe of what you are doing these past few years. I would be terrified! I just started a post on the negative emotion that is FEAR! I used to be fearless. My sister used to tease me and I hope no one is offended by this (because everyone is always offended!) But she would say, “you were clearly supposed to be a boy, because you are definitely wearing a set!” I am not sure what happened. Impossible was a word that was never part of my vocabulary. Thank you for sharing your methods and suggestions that perhaps my readers and myself can implement. I’m not getting in any water outside of the bathroom, but I try to take walks daily when EAST COAST weather permits. BOOOOO. I even struggle on my walk, to not look at my phone, my watch, or get distracted rather than just be! I will definitely be exploring the breath work. I do use a breathing practice at night when I cannot fall asleep. Thank you so much. I hope you are documenting your experiences and will share them with us at some point. I think that many of use would benefit from reading about them.