It is so strange. It never fails. Within a week of publishing a post on a topic, I walk into a bookstore, or cruise a magazine rack on my way to the coffee counter in Barnes & Noble (Where there is never a line and you can get that same highly acidic, eat the paint off your car, coffee!) and there are always one or two publications with articles on those very subjects. Obviously, I am not the only person thinking about these topics. (Not that I thought I was!) It just never fails. Based on the fact that these articles are being published for the masses, these topics are on a lot of folks’ minds.
Before I wrote the post on habits last week, I had reached out to my friend Barb who has written guest posts for MBIC in the past, and asked her to contribute to the topic of habits. As a psychologist, I thought we could all use some insight from a professional. You’re welcome.
I read a few of the articles this past week and there was quite a bit of useful information in them as well. “About 43% of our daily behaviors are controlled by habit,” says Wendy Wood PhD, Professor of Psychology and Business at UCLA, and author of “Good Habits, Bad Habits, The Science of Making Positive Changes That Stick. It’s funny we don’t pay much attention to our good habits, but if you’re like me, you’re quick to beat yourself up over the bad ones.
I learned, according to Charles Duhigg, author of “The Power of Habit,” The simple act and habit of making your bed is correlated with better productivity, a greater sense of well-being and stronger money management skills? Crazy right? I cannot leave my house without making my bed. I struggle not to completely make up hotel beds! I have literally been late because I must make my bed. You don’t really think about habits that much. You just have a bunch of them!
Duhigg states that, “most of our habits are good habits that are working for us.” But those bad ones! Look, change is possible, but just don’t expect it to happen overnight. The good news is that positive habits, according Duhigg, “Aren’t just useful on their own they can foster other good-for-you traits as well.” Dr. Wood states, “People think they can decide to break a bad habit or form a good one, but habits don’t respond to our decisions. Instead habits form as we repeat actions over time incrementally, slowly, and through repetition.So I asked Barb for her thoughts on habits and changing habits that do not serve us. Below, is what Barb offered up! Enjoy!
“CHANGE IS GRADUAL, RELAPSE IS PART OF THE PROCESS”
Guest Contributor: Barb Fotsch LCSW
Getting older doesn’t mean there is no desire to improve ourselves or build new habits……Frankly, change has always been hard; sometimes it results in a bit of self blaming when progress is so dang slow.
The model often used in the counseling field, which has become very popular in the last decade, is from Prochaska and DeClemente’s stages. I have found it helpful in keeping people more hopeful and optimistic because the premise is, “Change is gradual and relapse is simply part of the process”. In a nutshell, here is the framework.
Pre-contemplation: Reluctant, rebellious, resigned, rationalizing…this stage is pre-awareness. We barely, if ever, are thinking about changing.
Contemplation: Fence sitting, closer to making some change, still a bit ambivalent such as “I might change” in the future.
Preparation: More determined and more likely to test the waters in next 30 days.
Action: Some change has occurred within last 5-6 months; intend to move forward with new behaviors. Begin to develop relapse prevention strategies.
Maintenance: Maintained changes for a while, more than 6 months; have new skills for maintaining.
Relapse; A setback – returned to old ways, evaluates and reconfirms commitment to change.
Termination: I am changed forever (LOL don’t think so)
There is a lot of good reading on this topic and the bottom line is:
WE CAN DO IT!
I would love to hear from you! What new positive habits have you successfully incorporated into your life?