If you are like me, you have more than a few bad habits. There’s probably a list.
Definition: Hab-it
A settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up. Acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary.
James Clear writes “Your life is the sum of your habits.” Lately, I have been taking a lot of classes related to health and nutrition. I’m doing this in an effort to help some of the people close to me that are experiencing health issues, but also to arm myself with as much knowledge as possible so that I can avoid being one of those people!
I think, if you have read my previous posts, you know that I am a big believer that most of our health issues are almost 100% related to our diet and lifestyle choices. When I think of diet, I think of how much of what we consume is based on our habits. Whether or not we exercise is based on habits, or lack thereof. Our thoughts, as well as our mental health, can also be a result of habits. Negative thinking, which I’ve experienced my fair share of lately, is also a habit. If your first response to everything that happens to you is negative, that is a habit. (And not a very good one!)
We have all had habits, good or bad, for most of our lives! Exercise for me, is a habit. For others, not so much. Beating myself up when I do not exercise is also a habit.
Of course, you know me. I started researching the science behind breaking bad habits and establishing new better habits. (And not waiting until New Year’s Eve) My research led me to the understanding that:
Your physical condition is likely a result of – good/bad habits.
Your happiness or unhappiness is likely a result of – good/bad habits.
You’re being successful or unsuccessful is likely a result of – good/bad habits.
Many, if not all habits involve the brain’s dopamine system. That is the “feel good” chemical that gives us that euphoric feeling. (Very temporary feeling, I might add. Often not worth the guilty pleasure.)
James Clear writes, “What you do repeatedly and think about forms who you are, things you believe and the personality you portray.” Your life is largely a result of your habits.
So, what are habits and how can you establish new ones and break up with some old ones that are not serving you?
According to my research from multiple sites and articles, building a habit is broken down into a few steps. Each article presented it in a slightly different fashion, but the message was the same.
Cue – The trigger. The cue predicts the reward whether it be money, fame, status, love, satisfaction or approval. Knowing what your triggers are can help you avoid them!
Craving – This is the motivational force. The craving is not the habit. The craving is for the change in your state that is delivered as a result of the reward. You crave chocolate not for the sake of chocolate, but for the feeling of satisfaction is provides. You crave entertainment, so you turn on music or the TV.
Response – This is the actual habit. This can be an action or just a thought.
Reward – This is the end goal. The satisfaction and relief from a craving. I’m craving a chocolate chip cookie because I want the satisfaction that I will experience as that buttery, gooey cookie and those semi-sweet chocolate morsels melt in my mouth! That cookie delivers some momentarily contentment. That feeling of euphoria!
While in quarantine, Tates Chocolate Cookies became a habit for me. I’m so glad Trader Joes doesn’t carry them, but dammit, Wholefoods likes to put them on sale regularly! Maybe it was the isolation. Maybe it was the stress of worrying about my family and Covid, or finances, (also related to Covid!) or whether or not I would have a job and how quickly I would become homeless trying to live off that unemployment! Whatever the reason, I was craving those cookies! (Even though, my brain knew it was bad for me. But so Good. Like a tollhouse without the mess or the dishes!!!! I know, that isn’t helping anyone, but it’s true!)
I started thinking about some other habits that do not serve me and about how to go about breaking free of them! After not giving habits much thought, suddenly I had a list!
I read in multiple articles that a good way to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good one! Can I retrain my brain to crave kale chips instead? Elliot Berkman, Director of the University of Oregon’s Neuroscience Lab writes, “Instead of trying to stop doing something, start doing something else. Forming a new habit takes time and commitment.”
https://time.com/5373528/break-bad-habit-science
Phillipa Lally psychology researcher at University College London in a study published in the European journal of Social Psychology concluded that on average it takes two about months before a new behavior becomes automatic. Of course, we are all different, so the results varied. However, you will never really know how many days it takes for you to establish a new positive habit unless there is a day one. Just start!
Establishing good habits often means illuminating the bad habits. Some habits are deeply wired into our brains due to constant repetition. If it’s something that brings you pleasure, like those damn Tates cookies, it’s even more challenging.
Not naming names, but a family member who shall remain nameless, repeatedly blames her “Inner Child,” for her bad dietary habits. I joke and say, “Your inner child is old as S*#T now and should know that those habits are not serving you!” But the fact is that many of our negative habits for whatever reason, make us feel better. I don’t think anyone escapes childhood without wounds, and for some their wounds are more damaging than others! Those wounds can obviously become the trigger. Wanting to feel better is the reward, BUT can we train our brains to crave better things? Can we develop the habit that when we feel emotional pain, to deal with it in a more positive manner than a pint of Haagen Daaz? Can we train our brains to crave leafy greens instead? (Yes, I know from my culinary studies it’s the fat that provides the satiety, so I know I’m reaching here!) Can’t we train our brains to develop the habit of changing our thoughts before the downward spiral that leads us to the frozen foods ice cream aisle?
Many of us have excess weight to lose. We don’t eat right. We don’t exercise! So, why don’t we just do better? I hear myself saying that to people just trying to encourage them to take better care of themselves. Mostly over the past few months it has been my daughter when she tells me she didn’t get any exercise that day. Diagnosed with MS, exercise and diet are EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, yet I hear myself fussing at her telling her to do better. Her life depends on it.
In all honesty, ALL of our lives depend on it! So why can’t we ALL just, “DO BETTER?” I am trying to reduce my blood pressure. I know that I have habits that do not serve me and keep me from achieving that goal. There are a number of ways that I can also DO BETTER. I too, have some habits to lose and some better ones in need of development.
I know that I need to learn how to relax more. I need to develop relaxation habits. I need to worry less. I need to think more positive thoughts and deal with my fears. I need to listen better and not cut people off. These are all HABITS that I need to break or develop. I need to DO BETTER!
The National Institute of Health funded scientists to research answers as to why we just can’t “DO BETTER! They found clues as to why bad habits, once we establish them, are so hard to break.
Dr. Nora Volkow Director of the National Institute of Health National Institute on Drug Abuse states, “Understanding the biology of how we develop routines that may be harmful to us and how to break those routines and embrace new ones could help us change our lifestyles and adopt healthier behaviors. Habits arise from repetition. Habits are like auto pilot triggered by brain reward centers which can be potentially harmful routines such as eating too much, smoking and drinking too much.” And I would add to that list social media and cell phones!
https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2012/01/breaking-bad-habits
I was never on social media whatsoever until I started promoting my play and my blog. It truly is addictive! You read one article and the next thing you know an hour has passed and you’ve accomplished nothing. It was a complete waste of time. Well, except you laugh hysterically at something. (I totally believe laughter is so necessary to good health.) It wasn’t the pig that had two back wheels named Chris P. Bacon, it was the journalist trying to share the story of the pig while laughing hysterically that had me crying laughing! (I needed that laugh!)
At my age, (or any age) I’m not really interested in wasting time, so I need to break up with my new Instagram habit. I was told that in order to be successful with my blog I need to be active on social media. I’m sure that is one of the best ways to promote my work, but there still has to be a window of time dedicated to this. I was told I needed to comment and post. I need to get on and get off! I need to develop a habit of checking twice a day or a set period of time.
I can certainly see how people become addicted and waste so much time scrolling through silly Memes and funny videos. But why? Why are we wasting and spending so much time on social media? What is the reward? Most people aren’t promoting anything. They’re just spending time cruising other people’s lives. I guess you can say it has replaced magazines to some degree, but you see people post all day every little thing they do, every little thing they eat and every thought that they have. Do we not have anything better to do with our time? And why do we even care? Or our lives that empty and boring that we should spend our time on earth consumed with what someone else is doing all day? (Even if not all day. Wayyyyyyy too much time!) I challenge people to just for one day clock the amount of time they waste on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram! Just keep track for one day. And then stop lying to yourself about not having time to do things you need or want to do.
Granted, sometimes there is something inspiring that it seems you needed to hear/read. Sometimes there is useful news and that is the best way to get it instantly to the masses! I just know I see a bunch of women posing half naked appearing desperate for attention and celebrities posing in front of cars and houses. (Why does it seem like all of a sudden everyone wants to be a supermodel? Maybe social media is a habit for them as well.) I mean, I saw a post earlier today by a celebrity because they got their eyebrows done. Geez. Read a book if you’re that bored.
Sorry for my Instagram rant and I’m not saying it is all bad. Sometimes there is very useful information, inspiration and ideas when you need them. But I would comfortably suggest that most have developed a habit that is not serving them and not the best use of their time. Not judging. Just an example of what for many, may be a bad habit. You can decide for yourself on that one! It’s on my list!
Sadly, I feel like I don’t have enough time to do things that I routinely did. I have come to the conclusion it is a direct result of this new social media habit. I probably waste an hour a day even if not all at one sitting. Just picking up the phone throughout the day looking at social media after responding to text messages. (Texts which are related to my job.) My job requires me to be on call and there’s a lot of communication through text messaging, so my phone is constantly in my hand, but I do not need to open Instagram.
All I know is that days are passing, and I’m dressed to work out and some days it doesn’t happen because I don’t have time. But I do have time! I’m just wasting it on a newly formed bad habit. I realized that I feel more rushed and stressed most days, but only since I started wasting precious time on stupid S*#T.
So that’s one habit I would like to break up with. Trust me there is a list!
With regard to developing healthier lifestyle habits, “Change is always possible,” says Dr. Linda Nebeling, an expert in behavioral change and nutrition at NIH. “You’re never too out-of-shape, too overweight or too old to make healthy changes. You can enlist friends and family to help you eat better, to go on walks with you, to remind you to stay on track,”
“It helps when you’re connected to a group, where lifestyle change is a joint goal,” says NIH’s Dr. Sanford Garfield.
So, what are some ways to do this? Here are a few I am trying:
USE THAT CALENDAR: Add it to the calendar on that phone you probably never put down! Or if you are like me and old school, write it down. Since my Daughter needs to walk, we now make walking dates.
PLAN AHEAD: I want to get BACK into having my warm lemon water in the AM because I know it’s good for me and with my new job, I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit. So, I need to slice the lemons the night before and have them ready. Or I can use my water bottle that infuses and infuse my water the night before and just warm it in the AM. I also want to establish a celery juice habit. So, perhaps to make this an easier habit to establish, I need to juice it at night. That way, if I oversleep or I’m moving slowly for any reason, I can grab it and go! (As I understand, it doesn’t really start losing its potency for 24 hours, so making it 10 hours before I’m going to consume it, is a good idea and makes it easier to stick with the habit.)
SET REMINDERS: If I know I want to work out a few mornings each week, I will lay out my work out clothes and my Nikes so they are the first thing I see. I can use that phone to remind me to work out! I can set alerts and use that phone for some positive habits instead of scrolling Instagram.
FIND AN IMPORTANT REASON: One way to improve your chances of successfully developing a new habit or breaking an old one is to have strong motivation. For instance, the desire to live longer so that you can spend time with family and friends. Or, just wanting to have a better quality of life. Think about how this new habit will enhance your life. The desire to not want to be a burden to anyone is also a strong motivation to, “DO BETTER!” (Unless of course you are a selfish A-Hole in which case, find some selfish reason to do better.)
Lastly, I need to break the habit of beating myself up when I have a setback! I need to be nicer to myself. It takes time for new habits to kick in and older ones to die down. One way I intend to do this is by setting small, realistic goals and working on a few at a time. I also find that writing things down helps me to commit.
First and foremost, I need to make a habit of taking one day at a time!
What habits would you like to break up with? What new habits would you like to establish? I would love to hear from you about what steps you are taking or what methods you have used to break or establish new habits!