it is often said that misery loves company, but the truth is everyone loves company, (Of course, not all of the time!) and science has shown it contributes to both mental health, physical health, and longevity. Research has presented evidence that social isolation and loneliness can literally shorten your life by accelerating your biological age. Studies have also linked isolation and loneliness to an increased risk of diseases including cognitive decline and dementia. Community, no matter how small, is necessary. It still takes a village.
No one ever wants to feel alone. And I don’t mean to suggest that people shouldn’t enjoy some alone time. Quiet time. Space. Peace. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. On occasion, we all need alone time. But we also need each other. We need people who understand us. Relate to us. See us. Accept us. We need people who feel what we feel and with whom we can share our feelings. Clearly, I am no psychologist, but I do believe temporary, self-imposed isolation can be healthy and necessary. Isolation 24/7/365? Not so much. This is one reason people flock to social media. And maybe it helps, but make no mistake, it is no substitute for face-to-face interaction. Hug emojis will NEVER replace human touch. Phones are great and necessary. Sometimes logistically the voice is the only option and by far, beats a blank! Connection takes many forms, and we all need connection.
We need people. You heard Babs. “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” And yes, I am a total Streisand geek! And? We need family. Even if it’s a chosen family and not our blood family. We need friends. We need to know we are not alone. And we are not.
The truth is that if we are honest with ourselves, and with one another, you would rarely, if ever, be the only person in the room that is gay. That is trans That is grieving. That is struggling in silence. You’re not the only person that is broke. That is battling bad habits or full-fledged addiction. You’re not the only person that is scared, or lonely, or uncertain. You’re not the only person unemployed or underemployed! You’re not alone in feeling lost, inferior or invisible. You’re not the only person that is exhausted, hanging on by a threat, depressed or sad. And lastly… That is black!!!(better get on ancestry and check!) I say this because I often find myself in places where I am the only person of color. It doesn’t really bother me, but recently, I do find that I notice this more than I did in the past. (Hmmmm. I wonder why?) But this isn’t about race, gender, or grief. It is about a broader truth; that even when we feel isolated, we are never truly alone. Rest assured, someone feels exactly as you do. They may hide it in polite conversation, but trust and believe, you are never alone. It can often feel that way because……
We are all hiding in plain sight.
At the end of the day, we all just want to feel at home. And I don’t mean home as in a piece of real estate. I don’t mean home in a physical sense. I mean this in an emotional sense. I mean home as a state of mind, and as a state of peace. Where we feel safe and heard, and understood, and respected, and appreciated. ( I know that’s not a proper sentence. Lots of that in this post. And?) A place where we don’t have to hide, shrink, perform, or apologize for being ourselves.
It is only when we accept ourselves that we can learn to accept others. When we start to see a little of us in them. When we recognize parts of ourselves in others. Even if the only common thread is our shared humanity. What we really need, especially in today’s world is to just “come out” as human. Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!
We need this now more than ever in the current chaotic political and cultural climate where we are being pushed further into division and isolation. My hope is that once we get to the other side of this, (and we will) we will all emerge more compassionate with a deeper understanding of what it means to be human and choose to see the humanity in one another. We all deserve to feel at home in the world.
You are not alone. And if you know someone that you suspect might feel alone, please check on them!
*By the way, I’m thinking of starting a supper-social club. Of course, this would only apply to my local subscribers. Thoughts from my locals? I also wrote a novella I will be stalking you all to buy! You’ve been warned.*
Sent from Noodle’s Mom Mom’s iPhone
Hopefully you can take a little time off from your busy blog life and run for president! I hear the hours are great and you can golf as much as you like.
And I completed the 4th grade! I can check off the educational requirements.