My Black is NOT Cracking.

I’m back.  Sorta.

This post is going to feel redundant based on my last few, (which were a few months ago now! I’m trying!!!) but it’s really bugging me, and I just feel the need for a recap!  I promise! This is the last time.  I’m also doing fifty-eleven things, so please forgive any typos. I just needed to get this off my chest and get back to my fifty-eleven things.

I came to the realization that every time someone speeds by me in a car driving recklessly, (which is what speeding is, by the way.)  I visualize the accident that took my Grandbaby’s life.  As a result, I’ve become both a super anxious driver and an even more anxious passenger because I don’t have control.  And because quite frankly, SOME FOLK I know are not cautious enough or are borderline aggressive drivers….Translation: They scared the shit out of me before the accident! Like, why are you tailgating a flatbed tow truck, when if you run up into the back of them, we’re both getting decapitated?  And it may not be your fault.  The texter behind us could push us into them when they fail to stop behind us! 

If you ask me one of the leading causes of death these days is impatience.  Seriously, our lack of patience is killing us, followed by a total disregard for laws. (The good ones that don’t involve a woman’s right to choose.)  If you take away Covid, accidents are actually the 3^rd leading cause of death.  And that’s not to say all accidents are related to impatience, but if I had to guess, a whole lot of accidents are a result of rushing!  Obviously, accidents can be a result of distractions and medical emergencies, but if I were a betting woman, I’d put my money on, “someone was just being an impatient asshole.” 

In addition to increasing our risks of injury and accident, impatience has a few more health consequences to consider. Impatience can often lead to anger and frustration. The physiological effects of impatience include the release of stress hormones such as cortisol.  Too much of that running around in your body and you increase your risk of heart disease.  And that spare tire in your trunk could eventually have a twin where your waist used to be! 

In my research, I came across this statement by Daniel Baugher, Dean of Graduate Programs at Pace University. “Being impatient could cause anxiety and hostility,” (because God knows we don’t have enough of that in the world!) It can also lead to poor judgment and decisions.

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Okay.  So, let’s take a look at the statistics of what’s taking us out these days!

Leading Causes of Death according to the CDC

• Heart disease: 696,962. (Stress can be a huge factor!)
• Cancer: 602,350.
• COVID-19: 350,831. (Reduced immune function can also be connected to stress!)
• Accidents (unintentional injuries): 200,955.

If you’ve been reading my last few posts and have any idea of what’s been happening in my world, you know I’m going to focus on that last one!  ACCIDENTS.

There is one thing that I’ve noticed lately, and I’m sure it’s not a new phenomenon. I’m guessing as a result of my granddaughter’s accident, followed by my own, I’m just more aware. 

SPEEDING.  When did we all get in such a damn hurry?  When did we become so impatient?

A few days ago, I had a guy in my trunk blowing his horn like a madman because I was doing the speed limit!  And no, I wasn’t in the left lane.  I am obviously one of the few folks that remember, “keep right except to pass,” from the driving manual.  Now I see folks passing on the left, and the right.  Hell, they’re passing on the damn shoulder!  I watch folks fly by me while I’m doing the speed limit and disappear into the distance!  Why is everyone speeding?  Where is everyone going in such a hurry?

Now that I’m paying attention, more often than not, the drivers that speed by me appear to be teenagers and young adults.  Having recently lost my beautiful grandbaby in a tragic accident, where according to witnesses, the driver was indeed speeding, I feel the need to address the situation.  AGAIN.  “What does this have to do with aging,” you might ask.  Because the fastest way not to age is to die! And sorry, but as you age, your reaction time could possibly decrease a bit. 

I watched a young man speed past me on my right and weave in and out of traffic just to end up at the same light a quarter mile down the road. I realize it was risky, but I beeped my horn and signaled him to roll down his window.  He looked at me like I was crazy, but he did.  He wasn’t far off.  The situation is driving me crazy! I said to him as I held up my phone displaying my beautiful granddaughter’s photo. “Wherever you are in such a rush to get to, is not worth dying over or killing someone else and ending up in prison.  My granddaughter was a passenger in a car with someone speeding and driving recklessly and she’s gone.  Slow down.  Someone loves you and wants you to make it home.” I actually think that was my second attempt at saving someone’s child.

He looked at me and waved.  Not in a disrespectful way.  But when the light changed, he didn’t speed off as he had the two lights prior.  I hope I put something on his mind.  I know young people think they are invincible.  I can only hope that wherever he was going, he arrived safely and didn’t harm anyone else on the way.

But it appears to be an epidemic.  I’m just amazed at how fast everyone is going!  Why?

I remember when I moved to LA.  I was shocked at the number of car accidents I saw daily.  I thought, “worse drivers ever!”  And I quickly learned that red lights were optional there.  I learned to look both ways, whether the light was green or not!  When my daughter came to visit and was taking my car to go out with her friend, it was the first thing I told her.  Green doesn’t mean go.  Green means, look both ways and then go!

Now I’m seeing the same thing in NJ. Red lights have become optional and speed limits are just suggestions.  I don’t know why they ever raised them.  Folks did 65 when it was 55, so why increase it?  Increased speeds are directly related both to the possibility of an accident, as well as the severity of the consequences.

Something else that I find disturbing is how often I see cars race by police cars or run lights right in front of a police car with no repercussions.  It feels so lawless these days and I can’t help but think it’s related to the former president.  (“Poor you” in Tony Soprano’s mother’s voice!) He believed he was above the law and to date, it feels like he was. (I keep watching the news in the hope that this changes!) I think he inspired a lot of folks to believe the same.  Laws do not apply to them.  There are no repercussions for your actions.  But there are.  You could kill someone and end up in prison or end up dead.  That ticket won’t mean s*#t compared to dying or living with guilt.

I truly feel like things are just out of control, but nowhere more so than on the roads.    There seems to be a total lack of enforcement.  The penalties and fines need to be increased and folks need to lose their driving privileges more often.  How can we expect to reduce traffic accidents and fatalities if we don’t enforce the laws?  Are police officers showing up to work to do the time and collect the check, without doing the job?  (No, I’m not police bashing! I know they risk life and limb every day and some of them really want to protect and serve. Some.) I watch them watch folks speed by and wait to see if the officer will pull them over.  More often than not, it just doesn’t happen.  And who can blame them when EVERYONE is armed!  Don’t get me started on gun laws!

This whole speeding thing may not apply to you.  My demographic is probably not peeling out like we have no sense.  But you have kids.  You have grandkids, so read on! (And you are on the road with these fools!)

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Here are some pretty painful stats I came across!

• Motor vehicle fatality is the leading cause of accidental death among teenagers, representing over one-third of all deaths of teenagers.
  One of the three leading causes of death for Americans in their 20s is related to risky behavior which includes speeding and driving recklessly and accidents.

• In 2021, according to the DOT, US traffic deaths reached a 16-year high. “NHTSA, a federal vehicle safety watchdog, estimates close to 43,000 people died in car crashes last year which was a 10.5% increase over 2020.” (This included pedestrians/cyclists.  I wonder why!) That same organization estimated traffic deaths rose in 2021 in 44 states. (I’m scared of the 2022 numbers!)

• Traffic injuries are the leading cause of death for children and young adults aged 5-29 years.

• Approximately 1.3 million people die each year in automobile accidents.

• 73% of all road traffic deaths occur among young males under the age of 25. Young males are three times more likely to die in a car accident than females in that same age group. (Unless he kills his female PASSENGER!!!!)

We’re also distracted.  It’s not too much different than driving under the influence, except one is illegal and more often enforced.  (I guess they both are, really.)  Distracted driving can come in many different forms.  Pets.  Passengers. But of course, cell phones have become the biggest distraction!  Cell phone use while driving increases the likelihood that we will be in an accident by four times!  Distractions decrease our reaction time. (As does age!)

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While we cannot enforce the laws ourselves, (or confront the person that just tried to kill you by cutting you off.) there are things we can do.

SLOW THE HELL DOWN YOURSELF to increase your reaction time.  You can better avoid an accident if you have time to react.  When you see an idiot about to race by, slow down and let them go!  And don’t speed up after they pass.  Give them some time and distance.  Otherwise, when they do crash, you won’t become part of the pile-up or get hit by their air-born bumper!

EXPECT THE WORSE IN FOLKS. Sorry.  (Not across the board.  Just across the highway!) Always assume that someone is going to do something stupid.  Stupidity is the new intelligence. Expect that someone might cut you off.  Expect that someone might swerve into your lane.  When you stop suddenly, look in your rearview mirror in case you need to maneuver out of the way of the person behind you looking at his phone.

STOP BEFORE YOU GET TO THE LIGHT.  Expect that you might get rear-ended and pushed into the intersection by a texter where you could potentially be broadsided in both directions.

DON’T JET OUT WHEN THE LIGHT CHANGES TO GREEN.  Look both ways for the asshole (or three) that might run the light and then go! 

Overall, I’m going to say this one final time.  The safest thing to do is to just SLOW YOUR ROLL!