I know. I have posted on this subject before, but I felt like we, (including myself) needed a reminder!
If you are of a certain age, you remember the time when there were no cell phones. There was no internet. If you wanted to learn something, you went to the library and checked out a few books; sought out those who knew, or you took a class. If someone called and you were on the phone, they first got a busy signal. Later, your answering machine would pick up, and then there was voicemail. Then one day, there was call waiting. Meaning, you wouldn’t ever miss a call. You would never miss out! Gee, thanks! NOT! Humans desire interaction with other humans. I get it! We are social beings. BUT, I’m afraid that all of this access, and all these distractions have produced the exact opposite result. We are all missing out! We are missing out on now!
Rather than enjoying our experiences in real time, we are recording them. Why? Why not enjoy where we are and who we are with now, rather than save it for later? Later is not promised. Not to get too dark, but you just never know. Don’t take today for granted.
There was a time when we didn’t need to document every memory or experience. We just enjoyed them. Perhaps there would be photographs to document the important occasions like birthdays, graduations, wedding, proms, and holidays. We weren’t documenting every meal we ate or, party we attended, or mani-pedi. All things in moderation. And yes, that applies to technology.
I remember not having a cell phone. Now, your heart skips a beat when you don’t know where it is. Why? Because our entire lives seemed to be stored in them. So, has technology taken over our lives? For some, social media seems to fill the need for distraction. There’s a lot of crazy going on in the world. I get wanting to be distracted from it from time to time. Social media provides an unlimited supply of entertainment and distractions. But when does it become too much?
Our cell phones can make us feel more connected to the world and others, but they can also become a distraction from loved ones, family, and friends. I’ve never enjoyed talking on the phone, and most people know that about me. While living in LA, I had no choice. If I wanted to check on family and friends, there was only the phone. That said, my preference has always been face-to-face communication. Now you sit with friends and family face-to-face only to look at the top of their heads while their eyes are on their phones. I get it. Sometimes it’s necessary. You might be caring for someone ill, elderly, or have children that you need to communicate with, or a job where you are on call and must respond to pressing issues. My job, during certain weeks of the year, requires me to be “on call” 24/7. That, I get. But let’s be real. This is certainly not the case for everyone!
When you are with other people that you care about, your focus should be on them. You wanted human interaction. What’s better than face to face? But no. We sit with people we love, phone in hand, basically telling that person that there is something better out there (I might be missing out on) than your company. As you age, your time becomes even more valuable. When we share it with others, we want their full attention. We want them to be present. You could be robbing yourself of a happy memory, or a beautiful connection watching someone else’s (often staged) antics.
Why can’t we put the phone down? What is with this dysfunctional use of cell phones and social media? Have we become a slave to technology? Was something created with the idea of enhancing our lives, harming us instead? Is it possible we are all just addicted?
While repeatedly checking our social media accounts might make you feel as if we are staying connected, it’s actually having a negative effect on your ability to be in the present moment. Do we need to take a break from the phones and social media? Like all relationships, there might come a time when you need to step back, take a break, and reassess the relationship. Just like that person you thought you would die without; you’ve survived decades without social media and cell phones. Taking a break is not going to kill any of us.
“There is functional, healthy engagement with technology – ubiquitous and necessary in our everyday lives – and addictive use, and it can be difficult to know when that line has been crossed,” says Petros Levounis, chair of the Department of Psychiatry, Associate Dean at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School and author of Technological Addictions. “However, while obsessive use of technology may signal an addiction, it could otherwise be a sign of another mental health disorder.”
I’m in no way suggesting that we are all addicted to our smart phones, or bat-shit crazy. I have to admit, I used to think it was just an issue for the younger generations that have always had smart phones in their lives. You know. The ones that use their phone to count the change you get back in the store because you threw them completely off when you gave them that quarter! But, I have also been surrounded by folks my age who can’t seem to put their phones down. (Not even on vacation!) And isn’t the idea of vacation, to vacate? Why go away to sit and talk on your phone to folks back home all day? May as well stay home!
Have you ever sat in a restaurant or any other public place and looked around and EVERYONE was looking at their phones? Couples? Groups of friends? What does it say about, or to the person or people you are with when you would rather be on the Instagram page of @nodamnbody, than with them? Or you’re having a conversation with a person that isn’t present and could care less about what you are talking about? Why listen to you when someone just posted a funny cat video on Facebook? But wait! Did you know it has a name? “Phubbing.” I kid you not! Get your Google on. Phone snubbing is called Phubbing.
Phubbing, or phone snubbing, involves ignoring someone in favor of paying attention to your phone. Though it’s a common habit, experts caution it can ruin your in-person relationships. Research has shown phubbing can lead to marital dissatisfaction and emotional distance.
But back to the addiction piece. Tech addiction is a huge and growing problem. It’s costing us our relationships and even our careers. But something else I noticed is that so many people are just posting photos of themselves. They’re not doing anything special or exciting. They’re just posing and waiting for a reaction or attention. There is a reason behind this. Social media addiction has been shown to promote narcissistic and neurotic behavior. In addition, there is evidence to support a link between smartphone use and mental health. It can negatively affect the mental health and cognitive abilities in individuals.
The science of tech addiction is complex. The tech addict becomes increasingly focused on their cell phone. Eventually it will interfere with their relationships and even their jobs. I remember when you went to work and the only calls you got were emergency calls. It better be an emergency if you called someone at work! Now you see employees being paid to work, playing with their phones on the company’s dime. No one pays you to come to work to basically talk on your phone. (Talking includes texting) Or to watch videos, no matter how short they are! As a business owner this can be costly. How productive are your employees at doing their jobs if they are on the phone? And as employees, how are we oblivious to this being an issue?
I’m guessing everyone knows someone that is constantly on social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. They just can’t help it! “Their work performance or academic performance may suffer because they’re so distracted, tracking and broadcasting their lives on these social media sites,” says David Greenfield, PhD, a psychologist and founder of the Center for Internet and Technology Addiction in Hartford, Conn.
But I digress. Anyone can become addicted to tech and their phones, but research has shown that folks that suffer from anxiety and depression are more likely to become addicted. Even worse, tech addiction has to potential to become the cause of these conditions. These behaviors and habits can have a tremendous impact on our mental health. They can also pose a threat to our physical health and safety as well.
I feel pretty confident without even researching statistics that most traffic accidents and pedestrian accidents are a result of cell phone use! No one is paying attention. I had to remind my granddaughter to put her phone away numerous times crossing the streets in NYC over the holidays. And of course, it’s not just in NYC, but every street. I have witnessed folks almost getting hit crossing the street because the driver was not paying attention. In many cases, neither was the pedestrian. Here is my rule! Always assume when driving or crossing the street that no one is paying attention! That means you better pay attention, which also means putting your own phone away! I cross the street with the expectation that drivers will not see me! In other words, I get my ass out of the street! (Parking lots too!). And you won’t catch me riding a bike unless there is a dedicated bike path!
If you feel like this might be you or you might be heading down this path, the first thing to do is just acknowledge it and work on it. Like everything else, if you don’t recognize the issue, you can’t exactly fix it. Maybe it’s time for a digital detox! And when you do use technology, use it for good. Put it to use to become healthier! You can find some great recipes for healthy foods and juices, as well as some great exercise videos. Sometimes you read an inspirational quote that seems as if it was just what you needed to read that day. While a good laugh is never a bad idea, (quite healthy and you can definitely find some funny on social media) it is important to remember, all things in moderation. Sometimes, it’s just healthy to disconnect!
Recipe for Digital Detox
- Turn of notifications
- Limit the amount of time and the number of times you check your phone. Check the activity on IG and you will be shocked by how much time you pissed away! Time is our most precious resource, and you can’t get that time back!
- Try detox days. Turn the phone off. (I get that this is harder with children or elderly parents or when you are traveling.) I just don’t believe this is just not the case with the majority of folks. If you are lucky enough to have a day off at home, turn it off! I know many folks got rid of landlines. I have always had one. Might be worth the few bucks to have one. That way, if there is an emergency and only if there is an emergency, you can be reached!
And yes, I know! If you weren’t on the internet, you wouldn’t be able to read this post! Like I said, not all social media is bad! It can be an invaluable and educational resource. Just remember, like most things, it’s a double-edge sword, so be careful. Use it wisely. Too much of anything is bad.
https://www.everydayhealth.com/news/are-you-addicted-technology/
https://derby.openrepository.com/handle/10545/621096
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-44575-018
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8204720/