D as in device. I know where some of your minds went!
I was told that in order to promote my blog, I needed to be on social media. I was never really a fan, so I was hesitant. I never felt the need to share what I was eating or what color nail polish I had chosen with the world. I mean, who cares? Well, apparently, everyone but me cares.
So, I set up my Facebook and Instagram accounts. Actually, I had to set them up for the play I produced, but I very quickly assigned those social media duties to my daughter.
Texting and email on a phone (which I refuse to set up) was already an excess of access! And, more often than not, an intrusion on “the moment.” I did not need to see what everyone else was doing every minute of the day instead of enjoying what I could be doing.
I feel bad for these youngsters that grew up with cell phones. My granddaughter and her friend visited me in LA. It was her 2nd visit. The first was short and was for her 16th birthday surprise, which was a trip to the Grammys. We really didn’t get to do much else that trip, so on this trip, I wanted to show her LA. I’m driving down PCH. (Pacific Coast Highway) No matter how many times I drive that road, I still find it so beautiful and peaceful.
I stop at the light, and I look to my right and she’s on her phone. Her friend in the backseat, who has never seen CA or the Pacific, well, I’m just looking at scalp! I could have Casey Anthony’d us all and drove right into the Pacific and neither of them would have noticed until the car filled with water. I didn’t kill the kids, but I did make a U-turn and take their asses back to the apartment. Here they are in CA on vacation, looking at the fun someone else is pretending to have back in NJ, (or wherever they were) instead of being present and taking in the beauty right outside the car windows!
It’s not just them. It’s everyone. I swore I was going to design hats with eyeballs on the top so I can feel like people I’m talking to are listening, since all you see these days are the tops of heads. (If you steal this idea, don’t forget to send me my royalties!)
Why is everyone so consumed with what everyone else is doing in their life? We are literally robbing ourselves of our own joy, watching someone else’s, which for the most part is totally staged! And who has time to just sit around and pose all f’n day! Oh, my husband said this, and I JUST HAPPENED to be filming. Right!
And how many useless masterclasses can you sign up for? They never offer any real info. They are just collecting emails because emails equal dollars for them. Attention equals currency!
So anyway, I was told that I needed to post regularly for exposure to my blog and my writing. I needed to comment on other’s posts, so I was visible. Say something funny or witty so folks would say, “hmmm let me check out this myblackisnotcracking chick.”
Well, I can say one year later, as a result of all this posting and commenting that my email list has only increased by 25 people. It hasn’t really been a fruitful endeavor, but what it has been, is a TOTAL TIME SUCK!
I stumbled upon the “my activity” button and was appalled by the amount of time I was spending daily on Instagram, scrolling through for things to comment on and signing up for masterclasses I knew would be a waste of time and nothing but a money bait! On average it was ONE HOUR A DAY. Not all at once, but combined, the scrolling was an hour. ONE HOUR! That was insane to me. There are already not enough hours in the day to accomplish what I want to accomplish. I didn’t have an hour to waste on Instagram. Especially, since it hasn’t really increased my exposure very much.
We are all stressed out running around saying we don’t have enough time to do things like work out, read a book, spend quality time with our kids, or our spouses and friends, but we have time to waste watching others do mostly stupid crap. (But filming it?) Since when did every moment need to be immortalized. These kids are running around here missing out on their own fun, watching someone else’s. It is crazy! We are all going to be running around here with necks that look like the letter C! But an hour! I’ve been wanting to learn Spanish. In that one hour a day, I could be fluent in a matter of months! Okay, maybe not months. But I could communicate with a large percentage of the population!
Not naming any names, but I personally know a few folks that I’m convinced are addicted to Facebook. But, complain about not having time. I know they are based on the number of Facebook info they quote or send to me that I rarely read. We never put our phones down! Put it down! Not yet. After you finish my post!
A 2018 study of 2,000 Americans by Asurion revealed that people ON VACATION, in the US check their phones an average of 80 times a day and as much as 300 times a day! WTF!
Life is all about the connections that we share with other human beings. I get it. Interactions with others are normal and healthy. We all want and need a certain degree of attention. The need to belong is a universal thing. It’s normal.
That said, there is a huge difference in the need or desire for human interaction and unhealthy attention-seeking.
There are many reasons why an adult might seek or need attention. Could be something rooted in their childhood. But, I will let Barb, my friend who is an actual Psychologist write about that! I’m certainly not a psychologist. I’m just an observant person that enjoys researching and learning. But what is up with this constant need for validation? When did everyone become so needy?
Social media platforms make money because we crave attention. Platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok sell attention. And yes, some of these attention seekers have become extremely wealthy. That, I cannot dispute. They have become wealthy because YOU, (“I don’t mean me, but folks.” Best line ever from the movie Doc Hollywood that probably only I saw!) made them wealthy by giving them that hour each day! (Instead of doing something for you!)
And not everyone is making money. Some are just desperate for attention. Seeking attention online will inevitably lead to needless comparison. Which is even more sad considering what we see in this tweet or Instagram photo is just moments in these folk’s lives. Yet, we get fooled into the idea that this is their entire existence. Nope. They put that phone down and took a dump, just like you did! Only you took your phone to the toilet, didn’t you?
While social media can be a great place to find design ideas, recipes, styles, inspiration, and often a really good laugh, for those posting as a means of getting attention, it is not a place to look for validation or to deal with issues of low self-esteem.
I read in my research, in an article, linked below that 80% of output on Instagram is folk’s talking about themselves, compared with 30-40% of self-reference that might occur in a real, face-to-face conversation.
What began as a photo-sharing app, is now the home of the “selfie.” The “influencer,” and the idea of personal branding. These folks post their entire lives and wait for approval, comments, and likes. Often responses are just mean and judgy. Or you get people that want to emulate others or live what they think are these fabulous lives. That kind of constant comparison to other’s lives can lead to all kinds of issues, including depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety. The scary fact is social media can just magnify pre-existing mental health issues.
“A selfie addiction is when a person is almost obsessively taking selfies, multiple times a day, and posting that to whatever it might be — Snapchat, or Facebook, Instagram,” Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a professor of psychology at California State University Los Angeles, told Healthline in an article back in April 2018.
If selfiitis is a real thing, I can certainly diagnose a few people myself.
Excessively posing and taking selfies has been associated with narcissism, low self-esteem and depression. Folks just living for likes! It’s kinda sad. And damn, I’ma say it again! I’m tired of looking at asses!
I mean, people spend more time documenting experiences than they do having them!
But allow me to let you in on some things I learned that are of far greater concern!
Like how cell phones and social media are damaging our already aging brains. How this addiction to social media and cell phones in general, can be bad news. I mean, the constant distraction and social disruption is bad enough. But how about cell phones being the cause of auto accidents, cyclists getting hit, health problems, kids committing crimes, and the list goes on. (Capital Insurrections! Rapidly spreading lies. Don’t get me started on that BS!)
Adults are losing their ability to have a face-to-face conversation and kids who never developed these skills are screwed! They don’t know how to interact with others and communicate without a device. One study labeled the “gram” as the most damaging platform for young people. You hear that Moms?
(Professor John Gabrieli, of the McGovern Institute for Brain Research at MIT, stated, “We’ve seen that children and adolescents have a much harder time reacting to bad emotions,” he explains. “We normally adapt as adults into being resilient, but that’s harder for these younger generations because they are now exposed to constant negative interactions on social media.”) Translation? All that social media and device use is worse for your kids than Captain Crunch!
But, in the words of George Carlin, “F@&k the kids,” for the rest of this post. Let’s talk about how cell phones and social media are affecting our (grown folks) physical and psychological health!
I read in more than one article that neuroscientists are actually examining how excessive use of cell phones and social media are affecting our actual brains and how they function.
The World Psychiatric Association published a study suggesting that social media has a similar impact to our brains as “age-related cognitive decline.” Sitting around staring at stupid shit on our phones could actually be deteriorating our brains. We aren’t putting that brain to use, so it deteriorates. We aren’t doing puzzles or reading or learning or thinking. Scrolling is a mindless activity.
And then there’s the information overload issue which can affect your brain. We’re taking in too much all the time. It’s constant. We don’t want to be bored, so we use our phones for entertainment. Many a brilliant idea came from boredom or just sitting quietly and from using our imagination. All that social media is the equivalent of a lot of noise!
BUT, it’s not just social media. It’s cell phones and devices in general. Did you know there have actually been cases diagnosed of addiction to these devices? One doctor, Dr. Nicholas Kardaras, stated that treating a screen addiction can be even more difficult than a drug addiction. Maybe because we don’t see the damage they can cause as clearly.
Addiction is characterized by a person who engages in problematic behavior negatively impacting their lives. The screen addiction can affect your eyes, your brain, as well as your personal relationships, your schooling, and your jobs! I see folks on their phones at work! I mean, I have to wait for you to shoot off that test rather than pour my coffee, cause hey, I have no place to be! And as an employer, I would be concerned about productivity. How can you be working and texting? That’s the equivalent of taking personal calls at work. I cannot imagine talking on the phone at any of my jobs. On a break, yes. An emergency, of course. But before cell phones you did NOT call someone at their job! You could get them fired for such behavior. When did it become okay? As an employer, I’m not paying you to text or talk to your friends!
And how about how it is affecting your physical health? All that sitting and texting or reading screens instead of exercising. Eye strain! Butt enlargement! (which apparently is all the rage! Big Butts!) I literally started to develop carpal tunnel syndrome from Instagram and texting. Basically, just from holding the phone for long periods of time repeatedly with the same hand!
But wait! There’s more. Not only are those cell phones next to our heads (while we are on them and while we are sleeping with them close by) causing DNA damage, they are affecting our sleep, which as you know, can lead to a whole host of serious health issues. Not just cell phones, but all devices can cause a suppression of melatonin. You know, the chemical that tells us to go to sleep!
Okay, my rant is done. The next time you pick up your phone to post and scroll, just think about all of this. Then, just put it down!
But, read my stuff, first!
Title photo credit: https://bedbible.com
https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/instagram-effect-on-brain
I agree! Young people are socially challenged. I had an encounter with several kids on their bikes at 10:30 PM They saw me standing there. I may think I am still young – reality is I could have been any one of their grandmother’s. F’n whore one calls the other and in return FU Dxxkhead.
Really? To top off the one boy pops a wheelie right towards me as I was waiting to cross the street. Who are these people and who are their parents? I know young people suck – I know they cannot look you in the eye when speaking…I hold out hope that some of these young people are taught the most basic people skills at home. We would never speak or act like that in front of somebody’s mother! The inability to make change at the store is a topic for another day…..Technology has it’s advantages no doubt. The long term detriments remain to be seen! Thanks for sharing – I enjoyed this post.
One issue is that parents use devices as babysitters. You see it everywhere. Kids are being taught how to act on tiktok. It is tragic. Of course, not all, but far too many. I do not even recall hearing the word bully growing up. I’m sure one existed, but social media makes it very easy to be mean without consequence. As with anything, too much is always bad! Devices serve a purpose when not overused and abused. Kids cheat in school with cell phones. They have calculators, so they don’t know how to add. And thanks to technology (NOT) they can’t even sign their names. Digital is all great until it’s hacked! But with regard to social media, I’m sure it is a way to keep families connected and during the lockdown, probably kept many a person sane! But, the bottom line is, as we get older and life gets shorter, who has time to waste? Speaking for myself, which is a lot of what the blog is, I certainly don’t!
Thanks for your comment.