My Black is NOT Cracking.

That includes me!  I own a mirror. And yes, I talk to myself. I definitely need to do better. I will never stop trying to do better. If not for myself, for those that love and need me.  And, for those that I love.

For example, I’ve said this many times, but I know I need to manage stress better and work on being more present and positive. These things have a tremendous effect on my physical and mental health. Stress not only ages you, (Again, I own a mirror!) it slowly kills you!  I need to Drink more water and less of anything that’s not water. I will leave it at that.

We should all do better.  At least make the effort. There is too much info readily available and easy to find (Although at times conflicting and confusing, so please look for reputable and hopefully reliable resources.) to NOT do better. If you believe there is a deep-seeded reason you don’t, or can’t seem to do better, get some help. If you can’t afford therapy, (Which should be covered under basic medical along with dental, but don’t get me started on that!) there are some great books out there. Recognizing and owning that there IS an issue alone is huge. I recently realized one of my life-long habits is really an anxiety disorder. Who knew?) But I also recognize why I might have it.  But I will save that for a mental health post!  I mention it because anxiety and stress go hand in hand. 

So, why do better for others if we can’t seem to do it for ourselves? Because the things you do now, the choices you make, eventually affect EVERYONE you love! If you are in pain, the folks that love you are in pain.  If you suffer, they suffer! People care about you, so of course they will worry about you if you aren’t okay. Let me tell you something I can speak to from recent experience!  Running someone you care about to the ER is stressful for both parties!  I was no less stressed when I drove myself to ER.

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Now this may sound mean and selfish, but I personally have no desire to take care of folks who make a conscious DECISION NOT to take care of themselves. If you think about it, not taking care of yourself is actually a selfish act. When you choose not to take care of yourself you are creating a future burden for people you claim to love. So, if you won’t take care of yourself for yourself, then perhaps do it for those that you love. No one wants to become a burden, but by ignoring your health and well-being that’s exactly what you are doing.

Disease is not inevitable. It does not happen to everyone. Some folks die from old age. Particularly in certain geographic areas. And we should be able to enjoy our lives as we age. It’s not just about quantity, but quality of life.  It’s not just about life span, it’s about health span. Who wants to live a long unhealthy life?  Or live a long healthy life, ALONE because your partner, spouse or friends didn’t take care of themselves.  What good is it if you cook healthy meals for thirty years if they’re hiding cases of Oreos in the closet?

There is nothing enjoyable about sitting in hospitals taking care of people, who well, to a certain degree put themselves there. Granted that is not always the case. People get sick despite their best efforts. People have defects. Genetics can play a role. Unexpected and unpredictable shit happens.  My kid didn’t do anything that I’m aware of to cause her MS, but it can become a debilitating illness.  She has it.  You can make decisions and choices that allow you to live with it, or you can choose to just let it take you out! Myself, I’m a firm believer that many diseases can be cured or reversed.  Worst case scenario, is to at least not have it progress.  Totally possible! And I know she gets tired of hearing my mouth and sacrificing things she enjoys to stay well, but I remind her all the time.  “When you are tempted, think of your kids and do it for them. Do better for them.”

Accidents also happen. That’s different. that’s not what I’m talking about.  I’m talking about folks that make themselves sick, whether due to a lack of discipline, bad habits, or just basic overall not giving a shit. (Which I’m sure is often a result of childhood, trauma, and sometimes undiagnosed mental illnesses. I get that.  I’m not being insensitive to that fact.  People go through shit. No one escapes childhood without scars, including me.) That said, we have to find a way to do better.  Don’t bury your head in the sand.  Work on getting better.  Find a mirror.  Look at yourself.  And ask yourself why you don’t, and go from there.

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But here’s what I have for my peeps. Pushing wheelchairs is a job for a hospital employee. Taking care of folks is the job or nurses and doctors.  They go to school to do this. They sign up for that.  So sure, do whatever you want. Eat whatever you want. Sit there. Don’t get off the sofa.  Just don’t look for me to push you around later.  Oh no. I’m going to push your ass now!  I’d rather push you, now than push you later. And I don’t care if you get mad at me.  It’s called tough love.  But it’s always about LOVE.  You will know I don’t care when I shut up. (As if.)

And real talk, I also have no desire to be the last man standing. (Which I won’t have to worry about if I don’t do better my damn self!) Ain’t nobody got time to be sitting in a nursing home alone in a rec room, in a chair with a blanket in my lap eating Jello, watching jeopardy, hoping someone visits! 

So, make time now! Take care of yourself. We want to take care of those we love and of course will be there if we are needed, (That is what family and friends do!) but can we all do our part to delay (or avoid) that situation? We have more control than most believe.

Of course, I will take care of my peeps if they need me to do so.  I know they will take care of me.  They’ll push me.  (Hopefully, not into traffic.) But my goal is to avoid them having to do so for as long as I possibly can.  I expect the same of them.

There is no reason I need to argue with you about Log Cabin and Aunt Jemima NOT being MAPLE SYRUP over brunch. Mrs. Butterworth is NOT your friend. There’s no reason that I need to tell you why high fructose corn syrup is bad for you. It’s just too late in the day to be ignorant. Read. You don’t even have to drive to the library anymore! Learn. Listen. Talk to your doctor.  If he or she is just a pill peddler, find one that’s not.

If you don’t feel you have the time to do the research, listen to those that have! There are some amazing podcasts. Check multiple sources. Don’t have time? Sure, you do! Spend less time on IG, Facebook, and Tik Tok. Use the phone to do better. You hold unlimited information in your hands! Listen to educational and motivational podcasts. Your wasting time liking posts.  How about you like yourself and do better! If not for you, for the folks that love you!

One last thought to consider.  I recently had blood work done.  It was long overdue.  Upon review of my report, it appears that all of my numbers are in the “acceptable” range.  But acceptable to who?  Being “acceptable” simply suggests that I might be disease free. Of course, there are many more tests to determine this than just blood work. That said, just because there’s nothing obviously wrong, doesn’t mean that it’s right. 

We need to strive for optimal, not just acceptable.  I mean, it’s a good start!  And just starting is great! I know I can do better, and it’s probably safe to say, most of you can do better as well.  One way to do better is to arm ourselves with the knowledge and tools to do better.  Below are my top five podcasts I listen to regularly to do just that:

• The Doctor’s Farmacy with Mark Hyman, MD

• The Model Health Show with Shawn Stevenson

• Feel Better, Live More with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee

• The Mind Body Green Podcast with Jason Wachob

• The Mindvalley Podcast with Vishen