Aging in many ways can be very liberating. It’s like you reach this IDGAF (I don’t give………) age where all the stupid stuff that used to bother you, no longer does. You have bigger fish to fry, like remaining healthy and alive! (in which case you might want to consider sauteing or broiling that fish!)
But, you also get to this age where you are honest with yourself about what you want and need. You speak your mind (Sometimes when you shouldn’t!) and no longer say yes to shit you never wanted to do, but were too nice, scared, guilty, or stupid to say no to.
Oh no, at IDGAF age the word “no” just rolls off the tongue so easily. I hear myself all the time say, “yeah, not doing that.” And you don’t even need time to think about it. You’ve been thinking about it for years, while you said yes when you really wanted to say HELL NO! You say NO now without fear of the response. It’s amazing how long the list of crap you no longer will do is. Life gets shorter for US ALL every single day. Should we be wasting time doing things we don’t want or need to?
Don’t get me wrong. At IDGAF age, you still care about a lot of things. You still worry about your kids, no matter how old they are. Speaking for myself, its obvious I care about my health. And sadly, I’m a tad obsessed with my aging face and body. (Maybe in denial is a better way to describe how I’m feeling.) I do care about my appearance, but not in the same way I once cared. In other words, I care a lot less about what others think of it. I care about how “I” feel about how I look.
My last two relationships were with men who had an opinion about how I should dress. One was always “dressed” no matter where we were going (Why are you wearing dress shoes to the pool?) and one was the opposite! Always casual, no matter where we were going. I let them be “them.” They on the other hand, thought I shouldn’t be me. One felt I should be a slave to trends. He would criticize whatever I had on. I used to always wear sundresses and dresses. He once told me that I would stick out like a sore thumb in a dress when everyone else would be wearing jeans. I wasn’t buying into the uniform he thought I should wear. He was of the culture of blending in rather than being an individual. Little did he know that as an adult, before we met, I owned and wore a tutu like skirt and had gold ankle boots in my closet!
He was ignorant to the fact that I once wore a gold jumpsuit to a black-tie event rather than a gown. (Which was the uniform.) And, I wore a pantsuit when nominated for homecoming queen and not a gown like every other nominee in high school. Yeah, wrong girl! I buy and wear what I like. If it fits a trend, it’s by accident or because that’s all that the store had on the rack. (Which is why consignment, vintage, and 2nd hand are my favorite places to shop!) He didn’t understand why I had shoes from two WHOLE YEARS AGO.
Well, I arrived a lot earlier at my IDGAF age in terms of wardrobe and style. Not in style? Whose style?
I don’t feel like, I’m pushing sixty, (with a finger!) but I am starting to feel like I look it and that’s been a hard pill to swallow. (Inside info! For me all pills are hard to swallow! I choked on a horse pill-sized prenatal 39 years ago and now on the rare occasion I take a pill, I’m a chewer!) Other than that, being able to afford to live, not just exist, but LIVE is mostly what I GAF about. My focus is on me and less on a man and his opinions. My concerns are more about achieving my own goals and dreams than supporting someone else’s. Been there! Done that!
You get a little selfish with your remaining time on the planet. There’s nothing wrong with it either. I GAF about my health, and my happiness.
Sometime you just need to put yourself first. My daughter has been neglecting herself. This is not exactly something she can afford to do. I stay on her. It is literally a part-time job! She’s a hairstylist. So I suggested since she can’t seem to find time to exercise, she needed to book an appointment with herself! Put HERSELF in that damn appointment book between weaves and color.
But that’s something we ALL need to do. And, not just as a result of some issue or illness, but to PREVENT future issues and illness. It doesn’t need to be a debilitating illness. It could just be to avoid stress and premature aging. Aging is going to happen. That’s inevitable. No need to rush it! And stress, unchecked WILL lead to exactly that!
Take time to attend to you! Make that appointment with you! I do that EVERY MORNING. I get up early so I can have at least an hour of “me” time. Whether I use it to write, read, run, work out, or stare at a tree, it’s my time and don’t nobody ask me to do nothing! (Yes, I know that is a double or triple-negative!) Leave me alone! It’s my time to listen to me! Not you! Don’t bother me. Whatever the question is, the answer is NO!
IDGAF age is really just a synonym for its okay to be a little selfish age. Most of us have worked hard for years, raised kids, taken care of others. Now, its time to take care of us. Time to take care of our needs that have been largely neglected. Time to say no. (Even if just for an hour a day! Hell, start with thirty if an hour is a stretch.)
Do it! Make an appointment with yourself and do it often, if not daily. For that hour just say “IDGAF” about anyone but me. Put the phone on silent, or better still, leave it behind! And be ok with that. It’s called self-preservation. And if you feel bad about it, remember this. If YOU are not ok, you cannot help ANYONE else.
If you travel or have ever flown, you know it’s one of the instructions that the captain gives on the plane before take-off! “Secure your mask first before attempting to assist others!”
Nurturing yourself is not selfish. Just like that mask, it is essential to your well-being and survival.
So, learn to say no to others and yes to yourself!
Here are some of the ways I do my “me” time!
Take a Walk
Take a Seat. Preferably in nature. A park. Your backyard. Your deck. THE BEACH
Read
A cup of green tea or whatever tea you enjoy. (just try to skip the sugar!)
Take a bath! Soak.
Get creative. Paint. Write, Knit. Craft.
Some additional things you might need to do for you! Unfortunately, they both require a trained professional and spending money, but if you need it, do it!
Therapy
Massage
What do you do for YOU? What’s on you IDGAF list? I would love to hear from you.
