GRATITUDE Definition:
The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. (Also, the title of a double live album set by Earth, Wind & Fire, circa 1975. Just saying!)
This post is about Gratitude. And no, contrary to what you might have immediately assumed, I’m not referring to Earth, Wind and Fire’s recording! I’m talking about gratitude. Derived from the Latin word, gratia (which sounds like a sexual activity! Yes, I went there!) that means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness; depending on the context. “In some ways, gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible.”
So, rumor has it, also known as history – Wait. Don’t get me started on that subject! My mom had to purchase a set of Black History Encyclopedias (And I bet if you said the word encyclopedia to anyone under the age of fifty they would look at you as if you had two heads!) so that we would know OUR history! She knew we were all but excluded from the books at the school, and she wanted us to know. I still have those books!
Of course, there was always the African American History class at Palmyra High which I’m sure most girls took just to look at Mr. Z’s corvette driving ass!
But I digress. Back to the history lesson. So, the story goes that after the Pilgrims and the Native Americans (You know the Native Americans that apparently saved their pilgrim asses from malnutrition and illness by teaching the pilgrims how to grow corn, extract maple from trees, catch fish, and steer clear of poisonous plants) harvested their first corn crop, the so-called holiday was established to celebrate. (The Pilgrims graduated from corn school!) The celebratory feast somehow now centers on Turkey, which I highly doubt was on the menu back in 1621. (Nor were side dishes that could send you into a diabetic coma.) I assure you marshmallows and mac and cheese were not served!
And let’s be real. We all know that the way this story is presented is probably not how things actually went down. It presents a beautiful image, but paints what I’m sure is a deceptively happy portrait of the relations between the NATIVE Americans and the, well, you know, immigrants!
While I’m not a fan of turkey, or pretty much most Hallmark holidays, I do like the idea of giving thanks. Whether it be for the first corn harvest, or the job you get to return to Monday, or the family that is eating all the stuffing which is the only reason you showed up, and drinking too much, or just that you woke the hell up, there’s something to be grateful for. Gratitude is an expression of appreciation for what one has. (And a really great album) Being grateful shouldn’t just be a tradition. It should become a habit and here’s why……
Research has shown that gratitude is consistently associated with happiness. Gratitude is a positive emotion which helps to improve psychological health. You benefit by replacing negative emotions like envy and resentment with thoughts of gratitude. Psychologists have discovered that feelings of gratitude also help to improve physical health. Research has also shown that being grateful can help to reduce stress, improve immune function as well as foster healthier relationships. One study demonstrated how feelings of gratitude reduced cortisol (the stress hormone) better equipping you to handle stress when it rears its ugly head. Grateful people are less likely to have issues with depression. Overall, being grateful can be a boost to your mental and physical health!
Gratitude is about learning to appreciate what you have rather than always seeking something you don’t have expecting it to make you happier. It’s about focusing on what you have, rather than what you lack. It takes practice. Believe me! I know. I have to remind myself constantly when I’m feeling frustrated about unmet goals and dreams. But it does work. When I’m able to shift my thoughts back to what I do have, and what I have accomplished, against tremendous odds, I immediately feel better. Do I need to get better at it? For sure! Habits take time and practice.
Where do you start? Baby steps!
Here is something to try. Every single day, sit for just a few moments and reflect on what you are grateful for. Or as religious folks call it, “count your blessings.” And it helps to write them down.
Try to notice something new every day you are grateful for, no matter how small! A sunset. A crazy cool cloud formation. Your local coffee shop now has cinnamon!
DON’T FORGET TO SAY THANK YOU! People just expect things anymore. Saying thank you seems like a lost art form sometimes. Burns my britches when I hold a door for someone, and they just walk right by as if it was my job. Last I checked, I wasn’t a doorman! (No disrespect to doormen!) But if you happen to have a doorman, please thank him or her. Yup. Each and every time!
Does anyone still write thank you notes? No? Well start. Taking the time to actually write a thank you note shows just how appreciative you are. They sell them in the store, (if you’re creative, make one!) and the post office sells stamps if you need one of those. I have no idea how much they are, but I’m pretty sure they cost a penny more than the last time you purchased any. It’s super easy to shoot a text or email and I’m sure, it is still appreciated, but an old-school thank you note, is next level!
In closing, I want to shout out some folks I’m grateful for and say thank you.
“Wanna thank you yeah. Wanna thank you. Wanna thank you yeah. Wanna thank you!!!!” Yup. Lyrics from the title track of EWF’s Gratitude.
My kids. The Daughter, the boy and the girl for being the reason I get out of bed on shitty days. For love, smiles and laughs. Thanks in advance for not putting me in a nursing home or putting me in a corner and using me as a coat rack. (Which has been suggested.)
My OLDER sister The Gooch. (Remember the show Different Strokes. In retrospect, very weird title!) Long list which in addition to love, support, and encouragement also includes, back up Mom Mom, “Dubers,” cakes, and security detail.
My bestie of 45 years. Gina. For being the best friend ever. For never judging. For listening. For being there, always. (Once you get her to answer her phone or get her to check email!) For footsteps in the carpet lines, (refer below) laughs, an extended family, and a lot of wine.
My strange (artist, what do you expect?) spouse (as opposed to E-stranged) for creative support, artistic inspiration, encouragement, and just a shit-ton of material. Not strange. Just kidding.
The rest of my crew. The Phyl’s, Diane for many years of friendship, support, and fun! Lot of laughs. And for being there with a tissue and a shoulder (or a cocktail) when there were tears. My boys in LA and now one in Florida. I know. WTF? For fun times and bad advice, but tremendous insight into the male mind! And again, loads of material!!!
My employer, Nancy Glass for keeping my old ass around!
And lastly, assholes from my past. I’m grateful to you as well. Again, tons of material!
Of course, I could keep naming folks, but I do have a day job! I will start thanking you when I see you. Besides, I doubt some of you even read this! Insert angry face emoji here. I don’t take it personally. Some folks just don’t like reading. I guess, that’s why I need to get that podcast going.
Last, but certainly not least, thank you to my subscribers, readers, and supporters of this blog and all of the other crazy shit I write.
And what the hell. I’ll say it. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Thank you for all you do!
And thank you for reading my rants!
Your OLDER sister, aka SAM and The GOOCH, is and always will be, proud of you and thankful for you!