A guest post by Barb Fotsch, LCSW
To close out Mental Health Awareness Month, I asked my good friend Barb, (who helps us out for a living!) to write the final post for the month. The topic of the piece was completely her choice. I can totally relate to this one and I hope you will too!
The Wilderness – Barb Fotsch
We are living in a wilderness. I’m serious. This aging thing offers us terrain we have not seen before. It’s a bit troubling really, but at the same time beautiful. What? Some experts say anxiety is more common in the aging population – let’s say folks over 60. Estimates suggest 10-20% of older adults are impacted. It makes sense – after all, most of us face an increase in health concerns, financial changes, loss, and “fear of loss” of our physical abilities (sooner rather than later), worries about memory, and more. Tell me what’s good about that? But sheesh, we can’t go through this part of our lives mourning our youth. So then, exactly how DO we make friends with “what shall we call it” gloomy content?
If we sit with such a reality too long, our emotions explode. We get lost and don’t even see the light through the trees. But we must remember one very important thing… we know more now! Who hasn’t been anxious before – ah yes, don’t you recognize your dear friend, ANXIETY? – This is not unfamiliar. Perhaps it is our circumstances that are new and our thoughts, not symptoms, require a good kick in the XXXX? A friend of mine challenged my premise…reminding me how hard it is to manage one’s thoughts. Well, I would agree that it takes more than simple affirmations to reduce our anxiety. But what if we try harder, try differently, push ourselves out of this uncomfortable and crazy path…yes we are older, yes we have a dozen gripes that slow us down, but shit…..we’re not dead.
Aging does bring a slice of anxiety. Fortunately, however, we have life experiences that prepare us for the ride; things we can draw from. Think back to another time – a situation where fear and worry pushed you around. Yikes. So…did you pull yourself out of the mess? Yes, as a matter of fact.
I sit here imagining a wolverine climbing over steep cliffs and rough habitats “in our wilderness.” Similar, but different – focused, intentional, in the present. We’ve got this. Our happiness is NOT dependent on the ups and downs of getting older; anxiety can be managed by embracing the goodness of the years, of this year, of this moment.
Here is the beautiful: 1. Connecting with others
2. Telling stories
3. Giving and receiving hugs
4. Building emotional muscle along with physical
5. Embracing a new normal
6. Celebrating what is…
7. And most importantly, being kind to ourselves.